Lord, Where’s My Healing?

Yesterday God answered a pressing prayer of mine. In light of my physical struggles the last 1.5 years and those of people around me, I’ve been asking Him for wisdom on healing and His will for us in this area.

I fully believe God is our Healer. He’s healed me of numerous issues, including “incurable” ones and most recently, this daunting one. How awesome is that?!

So in recent years, I’ve been very perplexed when people I know and myself go months or YEARS praying and believing God for healing without seeing the fruit of it.

What gives? How can God (who’s not a man that He should lie) say He’s our Healer while His children walk around unhealed? I needed to know.

Before going any further, we must cover a few reasons why people received healing in the Bible. Yes, Jesus healed a lot of people with all kinds of sicknesses and diseases – blindness, lameness, bleeding disorders, people possessed by evil spirits, even dead people He brought back to life. Tens of thousands witnessed His miracles; these aren’t stories manufactured in some author’s basement. Jesus was a historical man with incredible authority to make humans whole again, even physically!

However, Jesus declared time & time again to people He healed that “Your faith has made you well.” He didn’t beat around the bush: Faith & healing are intertwined. At times Jesus went places to heal people, but their lack of faith prevented His miracles from happening there. These people rejected Jesus’s power and missed out on His blessings. From this we learn that our belief activates His power.

But what if I’d been praying in faith, so much that I was surprised by His seeming apathy? I’ve prayed for many things through the years & watched them happen – so why should healing be any different?

I’ve come to realize that whenever I pray God’s will (as He laid out in Scripture) for a person or situation on my heart, I can fully expect Him to respond! In fact I SHOULD expect His response because I’m just asking Him to do what He already wants to! Whenever I don’t receive a response from Him, I must be missing key insights in that area of my prayers. I must need more understanding about His will in that area before I can expect to see it manifest.

Jesus also tied forgiveness and healing together. Many times after healing someone, Jesus said “Go and sin no more!” What a bold thing to say, yet it appears Jesus was giving them the key to walking in continued healing. He’d cured them, but if they persisted in the sin that brought their illness on in the first place (though Scripture makes clear that not all ailments are caused by sin!) they may wind up back in their diseased condition. Jesus was showing people how to stay forever free from their maladies: Quit sinning!

Side note: If our sin triggers a physical problem in our lives (e.g. Alcoholics who get liver disease), OUR ILLNESS IS NOT GOD’S PUNISHMENT. Scripture simply says we will reap what we sow – if we sow to our flesh, we reap destruction, chaos, and eventual death. If we sow to the Spirit, we reap health, life, and peace. God warns us what paths to avoid, but if we rebel we bring bad things on ourselves! Scripture also says (rather comically in my opinion) that “A person’s own folly leads to their ruin, yet their heart rages against the LORD” (Prov. 19:3). We can create huge messes for ourselves and others, but we mustn’t blame Him for them. Yet mercifully, when we pray for Him to intervene, God comes in and restores our messes even when we don’t deserve it.

In light of all this, the last year and a half I’ve searched my heart and life for sinful attitudes, unforgiveness, and a whole host of things that Scripture says cause illness and physical decay. I’ve confessed and repented of things He’s revealed and felt lighter with each load – yet no healing. I couldn’t understand it.

As Prayer Team members at our church, we often receive requests for healing prayers. However, my struggle has been how and what to pray for these people while waiting for my own physical healing. I prayed and claimed Scripture over them for physical health – and I believe those claims, I really do! But maybe it’s easier to believe for someone else’s healing than your own. Maybe my faith for myself wasn’t as strong as I thought. It’s hard to know sometimes.

One more thing Scripture teaches about healing is that sickness can be a test – as in the case of the Biblical man Job. God said he was more righteous than any other man on the face of the earth (no big deal). While I’m nowhere near that status, I’m wondering if I was being tested, too? Perhaps my physical problems weren’t caused by my sin or unbelief but rather God testing my heart to reveal if I would blame Him or recognize my true enemy – the one who tries to steal, kill, and destroy. If that was His lesson, I failed miserably for awhile! :) I complained a LOT on my down days – especially in the beginning – cried and got angry at Him. Eventually, however, I started fighting back at the enemy for trying to steal my life from me. Only then did I start to see breakthrough!

With all that said, yesterday as I read “The Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie Omartian, the following words rang loud and clear. This was the answer I’d been seeking, at least in part – an excerpt from chapter 11 on praying for your husband’s health:

“I believe that when God said, ‘I am the LORD who heals you,’ He meant it (Exodus 15:26). I have the same faith as Jeremiah who prayed, ‘Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed’ (Jeremiah 17:14). I trust His Word when it promises ‘I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds’ (Jeremiah 30:17).

Jesus ‘took our infirmities and bore our sicknesses’ (Matthew 8:17). He gave His disciples power to ‘heal all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease’ (Matthew 10:1). He said ‘These signs will follow those who believe…. They will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover’ (Mark 16:17, 18). It seems to me that God is interested in healing, and He didn’t put a time limit on it; only a faith limit (Matthew 9:22)…

Even though we pray and have faith, the outcome and timing are God’s decisions. He says there is a ‘time to heal’ (Ecclesiastes 3:3). If you pray for healing and nothing happens, don’t beat yourself up for it. God sometimes uses a man’s physical ailments to get his attention so He can speak to him. Keep praying, but know God’s decision is the bottom line.

The same is true when praying that God will save someone’s life. We don’t have the final say over anyone’s hour of death. The Bible says there is ‘a time to die’ (Ecclesiastes 3:2), and we are not the ones who decide that, God does. And we must accept it. We can pray, but He determines the outcome. We have to give Him that privilege without resenting, faulting, or getting angry at Him. Pray for your husband’s health, but leave it in God’s hands.”

Wow.

I know God is our healer, but sometimes the how and when hasn’t been as clear. Thank You, Lord, for enlightening me on this – that “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.”

I hope I always pray in faith for His complete healing (for others & myself) but that I leave the end results in His all-knowing hands. I don’t EVER want my lack of faith or my sin to hinder Him from healing anyone! If someone passes away without receiving physical healing, may it be only because God knew it was their time and not because I didn’t have the faith to believe for it.

Ultimately, perhaps the best way God heals us is to take us home. Only He knows when that will be. I can just rest in knowing that our Father knows best and that His will is our complete healing – whether here on earth or in eternity with Him.

The Human Condition (Pt. 3)

Guys, I’ve left you hanging for a month! Are you biting your nails over there or what?! ;) I have tons of great things to share with you, so let’s complete this series shall we! It’s a good one.

In Part 1 we learned God’s view of our “Human Condition” (in Jeremiah 17): We have hearts drawn to evil… persistently. Ugh.

In Part 2 we discovered sin’s incredible power to destroy lives (including our own) and its long-lasting consequences i.e. The wages of sin is death. Something or someone had to DIE to pay for our wrongs – or else we die.

In Part 3 I am grateful to share with you God’s solution to our pressing need to be saved… from ourselves and from others! This is some weighty stuff, so I hope I’ve written clearly about this subject. I so wish someone had written something like this for me long ago.

~~

Have you ever wondered why Jesus is such a big deal to Christians? Or have you been like me (til age 22, when someone explained the full Gospel to me) & never understood why some guy you didn’t know had to die for sins you didn’t think you had, when you never asked Him to in the first place?

Or are you a Christian who doesn’t understand this Christ-dying-for-you thing? You may have prayed for Jesus to save you years ago yet still not grasp your daily need for His help & what He accomplished for you. It’s hard to appreciate a gift without knowing how much it cost, so I’ll try to explain what the Bible teaches us about this wonderful gift we’ve been given :)

I’ve been a Christian since I was 3 or 4 years old. I distinctly remember saying “Yes” when my parents asked if I wanted to give my life to God, going upstairs & kneeling beside my bed to pray for His forgiveness. It’s one of my earliest memories, yet it’s taken me several decades to begin to understand why this was the most important decision of my life.

The Bad News: Our Broken Condition

Like everyone else, we believe ourselves to be “good people” (who sometimes do stupid things), so this sin business is a bit far-fetched. Ridiculous even.

Yet when we make mistakes – especially big ones – we can’t help but feel weighed down. We wanna cover up what we did because it’s ugly. 

We can live in this state of “Hide & Seek” with our sin our whole lives, pretending bad decisions away and sweeping them under the rug.  Hebrews 3:13 says this: “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today,’ so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.”

Sin is, by its very nature, deceitful. And it hardens us to its terrible impact on our lives, if left unchallenged.

Sin says what you’re doing is “no big deal”, that “God loves & forgives me anyway”, and that the consequences aren’t as bad as they seem. This is a very slippery slope, and Scripture says one of the antidotes is other believers in our lives who can encourage & challenge you so you don’t slide down this path. The Bible adds the word “daily” – that’s how often our lives need examining! Every day sin is trying to dominate us. We must be vigilant & we need the help of others :)

It’s very easy to talk ourselves into doing something morally wrong and calling it “Okay” when we’re the only ones aware of it. Don’t let sin fool you!  I can tell you firsthand I did this for years, and no amount of justifying myself in my mind or “do-gooding” could remove the stain I felt on my conscience.

Because I was wrong. And I needed to be made right again.

We can give all we have to charity, but it won’t pay back the enormous debt we have to our Creator! If it did, philanthropy would be our answer… so why, despite our good deeds, do we have a lingering need to “make up” for our errors?

Our own hearts betray us, warning that we’re still indebted to God.

Scripture says “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”, so this applies to every one of us. Without help, none of us escape punishment! One day He will rightfully judge all of our wrongs, so we need to get right with Him before that day.

The Bible also says all our righteous acts are like filthy rags to God. Nothing we do makes us right in His eyes. Many religions offer a way to “right ourselves” with the divine and “undo” what’s been done via religious exercises like meditation, prayer, fasting, or helping others.

But Christianity acknowledges that we’ll never be able to pay back how much we’ve hurt others or God or ourselves. We can never take back what we did. Trying to atone for our sins is like covering mounds of mud with tiny strips of cloth – they couldn’t possibly absorb such a giant mess!

I am very thankful God was “long-suffering” and patient with me to endure my repeated sins. 2 Peter 3 says,

“In the last days mockers will come with their mocking, following after their own lusts, and saying, “Where is the promise of His coming? …

But by His word the present heavens and earth are being reserved for fire, kept for the day of judgment and destruction of ungodly men… 

The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.”

This passage details the earth’s future & today’s common phenomenon: Mockers saying “There is no God!“ without fear of imminent punishment if they continue rejecting Him.

Yet God is patient. He’s graciously giving people plenty of time to repent, which explains why people make continued poor choices and don’t appear to reap the consequences. Their judgment awaits if they don’t repent. God is awaiting the appointed time when everything we see will be destroyed.

The Good News: A Free Gift!

So what hope do humans have, who are daily drawn to evil & need to be washed clean of their actions? They need a Savior.

In light of God’s need to execute absolute justice on Judgment Day – my only pardon as a Christian will be that my penalty, the “death wages” I accrued in my lifetime, was paid for by someone else.

This someone had to be perfect – sinless – or their sacrifice would be meaningless. Their very kind gesture would still amount to “filthy rags” as far as earning righteousness is concerned.

However, Jesus was God’s Son & He was perfect! He didn’t have the same sinful human nature we have that draws us to sin – He was born of the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary, not of man’s “seed” but of God’s. That is why Jesus was able to overcome the temptations He experienced and the dreadful death He had… because He wasn’t subject (or enslaved) to our HUMAN CONDITION: the fallen nature. As a man with human limitations, Jesus was still vulnerable to our same temptations, yet the Spirit of God within Him helped Him withstand them.

Jesus single-handedly overcame the death, despair, and brokenness that people brought into this world through our fallen nature. He defied the devil and gave His life on our behalf so that we, too, could have a “rebirth” spiritually – a new nature like He had!

Because Jesus was the perfect sacrifice (“covering”) for our sins, God’s wrath over our wrongs was satisfied, and thus His Holy Spirit was able to coexist in human flesh. That is why we are now able to receive the Holy Spirit into our lives, and the reason we can invite Jesus into our hearts!

Before Jesus died, God’s people had to sacrifice animals to atone for their sins & they had to keep doing it. Jesus only had to die once because He was perfect.

This is what we call a very big deal! :)

Jesus bought me back from spiritual death because He paid for me Himself. He did this while I was still a sinner – and He did it for every person on earth.

The reason I have hope is that I ACCEPTED Jesus’s sacrifice. If I rejected it, I’d be as hopeless as if He’d never died for me.

Jesus alone was in the unique position to stand in my place because He hadn’t sinned. When He assumed my debt, He paid my costly entrance fee (Holiness) into heaven so I could be with God forever… but I had to accept His offer.

Many of us carry pride with us every day. We don’t wanna believe we need anyone, especially some gracious divinity who rights our perceived wrongs. If we did, we’d have to ADMIT we were wrong in the first place then LEAVE our bad path. Some of us aren’t willing to do that.

For years I sincerely didn’t see a need for God in my life either. I thought the idea was silly & not worth my time. Coming from a Christian girl who grew up in Christian circles. 

When Judgment Day comes, our good & bad deeds will be publicly revealed. Based on what we did with Jesus’s gift to us, we’ll receive a ticket “up” or “down”. Our forever-future hinges on our answer to this question: Did we receive Jesus’s gift or reject it?

The sad reality is that people go to hell every day because they refuse to face the truth about who they are inside & most importantly, about their great need for a Savior. They live their lives “proving” their worth – a total sham – and then face God after life is over with no valid excuse for their behavior. So He must punish them.

Many people succeed in this life yet fail in the most important one: Our future, eternal life. Mark 8:36 says,

“What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?”

We should never be so proud to admit we fail or that we need help because once we accept this, we open ourselves up to receiving Jesus, our salvation! But we must believe we’re sinners & that God made a way for us to become saints (in His eyes). 

I am so thankful for this next passage of Biblical truth! 1 John 1:9 states: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

YAY! God’s only requirement for salvation is that we CONFESS our wrongdoings to Him, accept Jesus’s sacrifice – our need for Him to cover us with His purity & innocence, and declare that He is now Lord (“ruler”) of our life. God then promises to purify us from all unrighteousness, making us right with Him.

“If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” Romans 10:9.

When I said “yes” to Jesus, God was able to balance my spiritual checkbook & declare I no longer owe Him or anyone else anything. 

I now stand debt-free before God with unhindered access to Him!

This wasn’t a “Get Outta Jail Free” card: My debt was paid, just not by me! And now I have great peace every day because I’m not living with the guilt of my past or the pain of what others did to me. I’m free!

Once you & I become believers in Jesus, we must keep in mind that He is our righteousness – “the One who’s made us right with God” – not anything we do or how well we perform as Christians. When we rest in what Jesus did, we are then free to live our lives loving people with His Spirit working through us. We don’t have to waste our lives “making up for” sins that have already been atoned for. We live in freedom and forgiveness.

Jesus set us completely free, even from our old lives! He saves us not only the first day we welcome Him into our lives, but every day we face temptation to return to our old ways. Jesus said in John 8:

“Truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin. The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”

We must realize that we are either SLAVES TO SIN or SLAVES TO GOD. There is no other one you can be enslaved to… but “slavery” to God is really true freedom! He loves us dearly and, by honoring Him in each area of our lives, we open the door in that area to be set free from what used to entangle us in our past.

If the Son sets you free (from sin), you will be free indeed (and IN DEED)! :)

And… My Favorite Part!!

One of my favorite aspects of our redemption is this: Jesus paid for the trouble I caused… and He HEALS the very same people I broke through my sin.

This also means that Jesus heals YOU & ME from the brokenness others gave us!

That is HUGE! Our Savior redeemed us from death in eternity… and He restores what sin destroyed in our lives (& in other people’s lives around us). We don’t have to live with the weight of what we did to someone else. We can apologize, release it to God, and ask Him to heal them because He is our healer. What more could we hope for in a God?

At the end of all this, God remains true to His character as the Good & Just Judge! And because of our Savior, we are free to be with our Father in heaven forever! We don’t have to experience separation from Him because of what we’ve done, and we don’t have to live with the guilt and shame and pain we caused others with our bad choices.

That is a miracle. That is why it’s called grace, or “unmerited favor”. We did nothing to merit grace, but by it we have favor with God nonetheless.

And to bring our 3-part series full-circle…. when we say ‘yes’ to Jesus, He CHANGES OUR HUMAN CONDITION!!

This is what people call being “born again” – having a new spirit different from your old sinful one! Jesus rebirths us by bringing His spirit into our hearts. His spirit within us gives us power to make better choices & gives us new, good desires in place of evil desires.

We are made “alive with Christ” and become “dead to sin”. IT IS AWESOME. We’re no longer slaves to our appetites, lusts, sins, pride & ego. We’re no longer powerless to overcome temptation. We are FREE to obey God because our sin doesn’t cling to us like it once did.

If you’ve ever struggled with habitual sins, addictions, or very bad patterns of behavior (like so many of us have), this is one of the greatest freedoms we receive in Christ. We are no longer enslaved to eating disorders, drugs, pornography, anger or depression. Christ set us free.

Yes, we must still battle our earthly flesh, but we have a heavenly spirit that makes us “more than conquerors” (as Scripture calls us). We must read God’s Word – which tells us His many promises He’s given to us – and claim them as our own when we become His child. We can then take a stand on God’s promises to experience freedom from every earthly temptation.

A lot changes when we surrender to Christ. The Bible is full of wisdom and truth about this change of state. It’s so important to read it regularly to understand the freedom we have in Jesus – the truths that set us free from our struggles & this world.

So my friends, this is the drastic measure God took to make us right with Him & secure our future with Him forever. Because that’s how much He loves us.

“At one time you Gentiles in the flesh… [were] separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world.

But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For He Himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in His flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that He might create in Himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.

And He came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near.

For through Him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus Himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord.  In Him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.”

~Ephesians 2

The Human Condition (Pt. 1)

Hey friends!

Just to preface, I’ve had this topic on my heart for a year now.  I can’t seem to shake it, even after writing in vain about it 7-8 times.

So here is my *crossed-fingers* final attempt.  I’ve divvied it up into three segments for easier reading.  I hope you enjoy it & learn something like I did :)

~Summer

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

One day, I was laughing with my coworkers about the mysterious “Human Condition”.  We thought it hilarious that we could apply the phrase to anything:

“Getting on the subway is The Human Condition.  Dealing with incompetent jerks on the road is The Human Condition.  Having to slave all day to earn a paycheck is The Human Condition. Eating crappy tacos is The Human Condition.”

It was very funny and thought-provoking.  We hear so often about this part of our lives, yet none of us can define it.

Thankfully… God has given us a peek into our condition to help us understand!

We learn from His Word that we face 3 common enemies in life: Our rebellious nature (the “flesh”), Satan, and the world.  We could say, then, that The Human Condition is battling all three in our quest to know & emulate God.

But two of these threats are external (Satan & the world) – two things largely beyond our control.

Let’s focus on the one we do have authority over, with God’s help: The inward battle with our flesh.

What does God say about our flesh nature, or our “condition”?

“The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately sick;
who can understand it?
I the Lord search the heart
and test the mind,
to give every man according to his ways,
according to the fruit of his deeds.

Like the partridge that gathers a brood that she did not hatch,
so is he who gets riches but not by justice;
in the midst of his days they will leave him,
and at his end he will be a fool.

A glorious throne set on high from the beginning
is the place of our sanctuary.
O Lord, the hope of Israel,
all who forsake You shall be put to shame;
those who turn away from You shall be written in the earth,
for they have forsaken the Lord, the fountain of living water.”

~Jeremiah 17

Our hearts are wicked!  I’ve found that many people spend their entire lives running from this truth.

Why don’t we like to believe this?  Why do so many people explain away ‘bad behavior’ with paltry excuses?

Because we can’t fix our sinful hearts ourselves… and by accepting this, we’d have to give up doing whatever we want and give up proving our “goodness”, which many find unthinkable.

So instead, when we’re faced with mass shooting sprees, child molestation, & corporate fraud, we are quick to blame things that have no control over crime (guns, knives, medications, our mental state, moms & dads, lack of education) – instead of the perpetrators.

But bad childhoods don’t hurt, rob, and kill people - PEOPLE DO.

We can’t blame “politicians”, “corporations”, “gang members”, “black people”, “feminists” or “creepy old men”.  We, and our fellow humanity as a whole, are to blame.

Can we accept the fact that we’ve done wrong?  Maybe not to the level of some people, but no honest person can say they’ve always chosen good over bad.  Even as adults, we must discipline ourselves to do the right thing (& it doesn’t always happen).  It doesn’t come – dare I say it – naturally!  It goes against the grain of our natural state, the condition we’re all in.

We gain great FREEDOM and wisdom when we admit this about ourselves & about each other, and when we quit running from reality.

Many educational programs require ethics courses.  My question is, can you force people’s moral behavior?  These classes have their place, no doubt, but *at best* they encourage people to do right by threatening consequences for unethical behavior (or promising benefits when we abstain from it).

Ethics classes don’t make people more ethical, any more than bribing kids with cookies keeps them from throwing future tantrums.  They simply entice people to play nice for a reward/to prevent punishment.  A class can’t change people’s desires – or the condition of their hearts.

As they say, You don’t have to teach kids to be bad. You have to teach them to be GOOD. 

So why are we surprised when kids grow up to be adults who continue being bad?  And why are we surprised when we find OURSELVES behaving badly?

Many people talk about seeing the “good” in everyone, which was my default mode growing up.  I loved my rose-colored glasses because it made my world a much happier place. “You see what you wanna see,” I’d think about pessimists.

Then life comes along & clobbers you in the face. The people you trust backstab you. You go into business with a person of ill repute, ignore the raging red flags, and are surprised when you’re ripped off.

“A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on & suffers the consequences.” ~Prov. 27

“The prudent sees the evil and hides himself, But the naive go on, and are punished for it.” ~Prov. 22

There are inconvenient truths I don’t wanna face about people and MYSELF every day.  I can turn a blind eye, but that would make me a fool and an easy target.  There are people in the world who do not have our best interests at heart.  Sometimes we don’t have their best interests at heart either.  If we refuse to believe this, we will walk a rocky road of consequences.

There’s no need to be skeptical of everyone, but to continue skipping through the meadows with people bent on doing evil is to invite destruction into our lives.

We need to be cautious when we see warning flags about other people, and we must acknowledge that we aren’t above any temptation or sin either so that we can be on guard against falling into their behavior ourselves.

I’d like to leave us with two action items:

1. Accept that we share a common enemy: Ourselves.  If you need help overcoming something, seek God’s help and other people’s assistance to overcome it – don’t try to do it on your own!  There’s a reason you haven’t overcome it alone: You need someone stronger than yourself.
2. Accept that some people choose to NOT restrain themselves and do evil things!  Heed any “red flags” you see in other people’s lives, and guard yourself accordingly.

I’ll post Part Two soon.

Deliver Us From Evil

Today and in recent days, I’ve been praying the following:

“Lord, it’s hard down here. We need You.”  

I haven’t known how else to verbalize my sadness over things I see happening around me.

My heart has been heavy for situations that are out of my control, so I expressed to Him “what we’re going through down here”: The struggle or all-out breakdown of friends’ marriages, friendships, families, the economy, people’s health.

This was my prayer after learning of the horrific shooting in Newtown, CT this morning at an elementary school.  I felt like someone punched me in the stomach.  Do you feel it, too?  It seems we all feel the burden of something so unspeakable.

Then within a couple hours, another wave of horrible news came: A knife attack on young kids – this time in China - also happened this morning!

SERIOUSLY.  Two attacks in one day.  Can we handle double tragedies, across the world from each other, in the same 24 hours?

I may have sent my laments skyward, but I wasn’t expecting any outright results… relief to share the burden with Him, maybe, but nothing more.

But today I opened up a favorite book of mine – one on name etymology (the meaning behind names) which I reference often – and was surprised by what I found.  My bookmarks, haphazardly thrust into the pages weeks earlier, clearly highlighted something on the first page I opened to.

Emanuel. God is with us.  

Thank You, Lord, for the reminder in such an unlikely place!

I sensed God was speaking this to me today, amidst the chaos and heavy sadness we all feel right now:

You’re not ‘down there’ alone. I am WITH YOU through everything. I am Emanuel – God with you.

His message hit me.  Isn’t this what the Christmas season all about – God coming to man?

I’ve been reading the story of how Jesus came to earth on my YouVersion Bible app the last couple weeks & it’s been eye-opening (probably because I don’t read it often!).  The story of the angel appearing to Joseph & Mary and declaring the name of their yet-to-be-born Son is pretty powerful.

“An angel of the Lord appeared to him [Joseph] in a dream, saying, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.’ All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet:

‘Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel’ (which means, God with us). When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a Son. And he called His name Jesus.”

Matthew 1:20-25

In his very next chapter, Matthew describes the actions of an evil leader attempting to destroy the Son who God miraculously brought into the world through a virgin.  The result was eerily similar to what we’re experiencing today:

“Then Herod, when he saw that he had been tricked by the wise men, became furious, and he sent and killed all the male children in Bethlehem and in all that region who were two years old or under, according to the time that he had ascertained from the wise men. Then was fulfilled what was spoken by the prophet Jeremiah:

‘A voice was heard in Ramah,
weeping and loud lamentation,
Rachel weeping for her children;
she refused to be comforted, because they are no more.’”

Matthew 2:16-18

Yes, today is a deeply sobering day.

Can you imagine what Christmas Day will be like for these families?  What should’ve been a joyful day will be a bitter reminder of what they’ve lost.  I hope they experience God in the way He’s often nearest: during heartache.  Psalm 34, one of my all-time favorite psalms, says in verses 15-22:

“The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
and His ears are attentive to their cry;
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
to blot out their name from the earth.

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
He delivers them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

The righteous person may have many troubles,
but the Lord delivers him from them all;
He protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.

Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
The Lord will rescue His servants;
no one who takes refuge in Him will be condemned.”

What do we do when evil is so obvious that we can no longer “pretend it away”?  Or when we can no longer ignore that many people have a huge void in their hearts leading them to do such terrible things?

Atheists cite days like this as evidence that no such messed-up world could have divine roots (or a caring/Almighty God).

And Christians decry the very opposite conclusion: We believe our world’s state is the sign of how far we fall when we reject our Creator.

It’s comforting to know that, while other religions believe in various gods who would never come close to us in our earthly struggles & always demand we elevate ourselves to reach them, our God has said HE IS WITH US during trials and throughout a Christmas season pierced by the deaths of small children and adults.

As a believer in a God who cares about every tough thing we face & who holds our world together, I have a huge hope today that cannot be taken away!

“When calamity comes, the wicked are brought down, but even in death the righteous have a refuge.”  Proverbs 14:32

“The LORD is for me; I will not fear; What can man do to me?”  Psalm 118:6

Even in death, we are safe!  We’ll one day, sooner or later, go to be with our Dad in heaven.  I sincerely hope this doesn’t come across as callous or trite because I understand this earth gives us painful baggage at times.  Death of loved ones is arguably one of the heaviest.

What I’m saying is that God came to earth to set us free from every weight & chain and to be with us in the midst of them.  He didn’t leave us to carry them alone.  He knows everything bad that’s gonna happen ahead of time, and He gives us Himself through every good & bad situation to shoulder the burden.  Some things in life would otherwise crush us.

All believers – anyone trusting Jesus to cover them & take their place before God’s just eyes – will cross over into heaven.  Those little children are now dancing in the clouds with their Heavenly Father.  They aren’t in pain anymore, they have nothing to fear, and they are totally free!

We have to deal with the fallout of these tragedies, but God’s kids don’t have to fear the day we face death.  I look forward to the end of my life on this earth because I get to be reunited with people I love, I get to be free from everything that’s hindered me here… and most wonderfully, I get to meet Jesus who did so much for me and GOD, the One who skillfully shaped my life, provided for me, and draws near to me every day.  Who knows what beauty He has in store for us.

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

My Peace I Give to You!

Is there an area of your life where you consistently lack peace?

No matter how many times you’ve tried to “get it under control”, you can’t.  It gets the best of you and seems to mock you, putting your flaws on parade in front of you and other people.

Then congratulations!  You’re human, having a human experience.

So what if the solution for humanity’s common struggle is surprisingly simple?  Not easy necessarily.  Simple.

I have a question for us.  What is the hallmark of Jesus’s presence in our lives?  In every biblical situation where Jesus was present, what was the result?

He said it Himself: Peace.

When He rules an area of our lives – instead of our feeble attempts to control our behavior or our less-than-effective ways to muster up our own confidence/ courage/ strength – we can rest in Him.  We surrender the control we presume we have and give it to the One who actually does.

Jesus calmed storms.  He healed people of real ailments like blindness and lameness and bleeding disorders.  He encouraged an adulteress and lovingly spoke with a lady who’d been married five times and was living with her boyfriend.

In each scenario, Jesus righted things that were out of order in each person’s life, things that weren’t in line with His perfect plan for them.  He doesn’t want people to be sick, lame, diseased, or having sex indiscriminately.  And He didn’t want His disciples to perish in a storm.

So He showed up and brought His peace with Him.  

When each person came to Him with their need & limitations (their broken body, messed-up relationships, storm-tossed ship), He brought His authority over the situation and BAM!  Magic happened.

Miracles, actually.

In order for Him to do the same for us, we must admit we can’t do it ourselves.  That we can’t control our over-eating, we can’t heal what hurts inside our hearts or even figure out WHAT hurts us so much, that we can’t ever make “enough” money to satisfy our limitless pit of wants, that we can’t bring back a miscarried child or undo abuse we’ve endured.

We can’t do it.  We are humans, having a human experience, and that human experience is that WE LACK CONTROL.

The sooner we recognize our common limitation, the sooner we’re able to get help from the One with none!

I can tell you from my own life that He waits and allows us to make our own poor choices before “interfering”.  He will not rob you of your God-given freedom of choice!  God will let you continue on your broken path, messing up your life, trying to gain control over everything and everyone around you (or appearing to gain control, that is).

Sometimes He’ll allow reminders in your life to show you that you aren’t in control, such as illness or financial struggles or a failed relationship.  Is that His will for you?  Likely not.  But He wants you to come to depend upon Him because your life will never make sense until you do.

So why don’t we just stop the crazy cycle and get off the control train?  Let’s admit we don’t have it under control and that we never did!  And then let us – in that same breath – ask Him to take control of our lives.  NOT IN A CREEPY WAY – He is not a control freak!

He will only take over the areas you’ve given Him.  But until you surrender them to Him, those areas of your life will be in chaos.  Please take it from me!  But if you’re a true control freak, you likely won’t take my word for it, will you?  I know I wouldn’t have before I went through my own storms.  I was master of my own ship, or so I thought.

Surrender.  He asks for your surrender over each area, lovingly, gently, but firmly.  You can choose to… or cling to a delusion of control and your life will continue spiraling downward.  You’ll burn other people along the way and waste your life as a sinking ship.

Wherever Jesus reigns, peace rules.  If Jesus is not in charge, chaos ensues.  

Give Him authority over every part of your life – especially the outta control ones – and watch Him change your life.  And quiet the storm in your heart – the struggle for control.

Called to Shine!

“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.”

~2 Cor. 4:7

This scripture is kind of famous :)

I’ve heard people suggest that the phrase “earthen vessels” indicates human weakness, as in When we mess up, it gives God glory (praise) because it shows people that any good in us must be supernatural.

And until recently, I’ve thought the same.  I believed God was honored when I lapsed into my old lifestyle because then any “goodness” I otherwise displayed would clearly be from Him.

But it seems like God may be challenging this belief of mine.

Have you ever wondered…. what are our “earthen vessels” really?  Do they refer to our bad behavior?

Does God, who put His precious treasure in me, receive any honor when I act selfishly?  Or does my hypocrisy hinder Him from being revealed to the people around me & honored in the eyes of men?

Yes, I’m a frail “jar of clay”!  But perhaps my frailty doesn’t refer to when I act how I did before Jesus came into my heart and transformed it.  Perhaps Scripture means my weakness is something else.

God put His Spirit inside of us so we’d be different… and so that this difference would draw others like a light.  The whole chapter of 2 Corinthians 4 talks about this very thing:

“The god of this world [Satan] has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ…

For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.  But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.”  ~2 Cor. 4:4-8

Light is what attracts people, not darkness.  Our world is already brimming with that.

My earthen vessel, then, seems to be my limited strength, my tendency to get weary (physically & spiritually), my lack of outstanding mental & physical traits - NOT MY SIN.

When a normally weak person can suddenly forgive his haters, persevere through great pain, or speak amazing wisdom beyond his years (like the disciples, a group of uneducated fishermen)… that grabs people’s attention.  Why?  Because it goes against the norm.

Reminds me of a powerful prayer Jesus prayed:

“Jesus declared, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was Your gracious will.” ~Matt 11:25-26

And elsewhere, in Paul’s famous Corinthian diatribe:

“Where is the one who is wise?  Where is the scribe?  Where is the debater of this age?  Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?… Consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth.  But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.” ~1 Cor. 1:20-29

God reveals Himself through young children, unlearned men, and life’s biggest rejects: basically the weakest links.  Not the strongest.

People want to witness God’s power in spite of us, even through us, and be amazed.  They won’t see His reflection in us when we display sinfulness (as some say our weak vessel is).  Henry Blackaby taught this: that people are drawn to what no human can do in the natural – only what God Himself is doing through His limited creation.  They want to see miracles.  Our sin doesn’t make the cut.

My backsliding into old & destructive ways helps NO ONE (including me!).  It doesn’t give God honor because He’s put a gift within me that I’m refusing to let shine.  When I shine, people are drawn to this light – Him in me!  When I sin, they walk away disappointed and disillusioned, still searching for what I could have given them.

“Like a muddied fountain and a polluted spring is a righteous man who yields, falls down, and compromises his integrity before the wicked.”  ~Prov. 25:26

Why are people who don’t know Jesus drawn to people who do?  “Because they want more of the same dark, perverse world?”  Or because they seek God’s treasure in us?

People are thirsty & don’t need MORE OF THE SAME.  They seek in us what they need from God: Kindness, purity, joy, forgiveness, love, peace.  They seek Jesus!  Yet how will they find Him if they don’t see Him in us, His light bearers?

Our sinful self shames His name & us because we’re acting like the sinners we used to be… and there’s no light in sin, no glory that we reflect God’s way.

We give Him great glory when we’re obedient, when we rid ourselves of our selfish tendencies and instead display Jesus’s nature.

Let’s not give our world ‘more of the same’.  Let’s be the fresh, bubbling spring Jesus said people can drink from so they never thirst again.  We’re able to do this because:

“By His divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life.” ~2 Peter 1:3

Don’t be afraid to shine.
Love Summer

The World Begins Again

“Baby’s black balloon makes her fly
I almost fell into that hole in your life
You’re not thinking bout tomorrow
‘Cause you were the same as me
But on your knees”

{Written yesterday morning, May 15th, 2012}

This morning I awoke with a very heavy heart.  Vulnerable and open and sensitive and broken.  In this twilight sleep, I was reminded of a song I heard yesterday, Black Balloon by the Goo Goo Dolls, and it suddenly came to me…. what this girl’s “black balloon” was.

Drugs.

Lead singer Johnny Rzeznik was singing about her addiction, how it overtook her life, how he “almost fell into that hole in [her] life”.  This black balloon made her fly & “was [her] womb” – sheltering her from the harsh realities of the world.

Goo Goo Dolls songs seem to carry a deep weight with them.  But not a good weight.  Each time I’ve heard one lately, I’ve recognized why they resonate deeply with us, with me, especially my younger self.  They speak of deep things we experience as we grow up: losing our dreams, losing love, abortion (who knew Slide was about that?), pain, growing up in a harsh world.  Their common thread is this:

Hopelessness.

They don’t impart hope at all.  In fact they seemingly overwhelm you with despair.  Iris, Black Balloon, Name, and all their other great hits bring me to the same place: dark and empty.

After my mini revelation today, I read about Rzeznik’s upbringing – his parents’ deaths during his teens, raised by his sisters, his wife (or bandmate Robbie’s wife/ex-wife, they won’t say) being addicted to heroin and him trying to save her from falling deeper into that pit.  It was all incredibly – sad.  No wonder this guy’s songs throb with pain and depth.  This guy’s been through it.  But sadly, he hasn’t made it to the other side where hope is.

I hate seeing people suffer perpetually, their whole life one tragedy after another or at best a dark/cynical comedy.  It’s not meant to be like that.  God’s given us such hope!

BUTTERFLIES

Butterflies keep standing out to me lately.  They seem to be everywhere I go.  In our Costa Rican bedroom wall painting (above).  On the ranch’s fig trees.  In Costa Rica’s rainforest.  Even on Pinterest.

I read this on a Christian website about biblical symbols:

The butterfly Christian symbol represents and symbolizes the Resurrection.  The butterfly has 3 phases during its life:

1. The caterpillar – The caterpillar which just eats symbolises normal earthly life where people are preoccupied with taking care of their physical needs.
2. The chrysalis or cocoon – The chrysalis or cocoon resembles the tomb.
3. The butterfly – The butterfly represents the resurrection into a glorious new life free of material restrictions.

I hurt for the GGD lead singer and anyone else who goes through “the dark night”, enters the cocoon but never breaks free to the other side.  They stay in darkness.  Their cocoon, meant to be the death of their carnal (ungodly) nature and the place where they’re transformed into something beautiful, becomes their tomb instead of their womb - their birthing place.

They die.  And never come back to life.  They miss freedom on the other side of their painful journey.

Balloons were never meant to symbolize our dark addictions, black ones choking the life out of us and killing our dreams.

I envision balloons as childhood playthings that encapsulate how we felt as kids – carefree, flying, being above the pain and disappointment of the world, alive and free.  Many of us didn’t know pain or disappointment then.  We were drawn to balloons because they were like us: free from entanglements and floating above the mess.

So this morning, with all this swirling in my mind and on my heart….

I sat down to read God’s word.  I needed His comfort, words of hope and life.  And what two passages did I come across?  Job (knee-deep in misery) and Lazarus (dead in the tomb).  Hmm!

Job lost 10 kids (!!), his good health, his sweet wife (who turned bitter, as a former mother of ten might), his wealth, and his status.  Overnight.  Then his friends turned on him, blaming him for his misfortune.

And Lazarus?  He was overtaken by an illness that killed him.  I turned today to the part where people were murmuring that if only Jesus had been there, perhaps He could’ve saved Lazarus from death!  Mary telling Jesus she didn’t want to roll back the tombstone for fear of the stench.  And Jesus telling her Did I not tell you and promise you that if you would believe and rely on Me, you would see the glory of God? 

Then I read the unthinkable, mind-blowing conclusion: Lazarus alive!  And Job restored (two-fold)!!

God brought resurrection, renewal, HOPE to each of these desperately awful circumstances.  He’s been doing this in my life in recent months, too.  Amazingness.

“So will it be with the resurrection of the dead.  The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body.”  ~1 Cor. 15:42-44

“For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed.”  ~1 Cor. 15:52

Are all these things a signal to me….?  Is God surely saying He’s bringing resurrection life – renewed hope – back into my life?  Into areas I’ve deemed “dead” in the past, completely without hope of being awake/alive again?

Is He saying that to you, too?

Sex by Design

I had this crazy epiphany yesterday, a radical paradigm shift in my thinking!  But to make sense of it, I should start at square one.

The environment and culture I grew up in echoed a recurring message to me: Sex is bad.    

As a result, I not only learned that there is something inherently wrong with sex but also – as an extension – with anyone who desired it.

Recognizing that I and the people around me have such desires, I connected the dots: Our desires for sex must be evil and we ourselves must be bad for wanting something so evil.

And this is what I grew up believing, even after sex became part of my daily life in marriage.

But yesterday something changed.  I had a sudden realization sweep over me.

Our sexual desires aren’t some perverse, lust-driven motivation we have.  Yesterday I understood with perfect clarity that our desire for sex is wrapped up in a deep human longing to be loved, to love, and to be intimately close to someone else.  

It dawned on me that sexuality demonstrates our heart’s need to connect with someone fully, to share our beds, our bodies, and our whole hearts with them.  And that is a very wonderful thing!

It seemed so simple – this new way of thinking – that I wondered how sex could get such a bad rap in my mind this whole time.

In my upbringing, I came to believe that sex was a four-letter word.  Any desires I had to participate in it were guilty by association and made me feel shameful.  The mere acknowledgment of another person’s desires had me directing shame their way, too.

I know, sad.  How could I have missed it for so long, this beautiful creation we’ve painted black?

Sex is not some animalistic impulse.  It isn’t a natural urge we must satisfy, like eating or sleeping.  And it isn’t a mere quelling of hormones ’til the next time they surface.  These pictures make sex so small, so mind-numbingly petty… wouldn’t you agree?

It may be that way for the primates and porpoises among us.  But for human beings, God made us beautifully different!  And He’s made that clear.

He made us His own and created us just like Him - in His image!  And what is God’s driving force throughout all of Scripture?!?

CONNECTION.  

RELATIONSHIP.  

With us!  And between us!  

Relationship is the very reason Jesus came to earth: to reconnect us with our Father after our sin broke the relationship beyond human repair.  Relationship is His very heartbeat.

And because we’re made like Him, is it any wonder we’re seeking these same things on earth: Deep connection and unmasked intimacy?

The very things our healthy sexuality delivers.

Sex connects us with another and with the Divine.  It’s been equated with heaven on earth, and this is no mistake.  When we get a taste of intimacy, it shows us how deeply we’re capable of connecting with someone else and how deeply we can be known… and boy is that aweeeee-some!

Sex doesn’t simply connect two body parts.  It connects all of who you are with all of who they are, and joins two eternal souls together.  That is magnificent!

And that is precisely why some expressions of sexuality cannot be God’s design… because they connect us with no other or connect us for only a season!  We’ve misused sex as some sort of recreational vehicle, meant to satisfy a physical urge while neglecting the spiritual and emotional bonds formed during the real thing.

Sex is not lust.  Sex is neutral.  It’s what we clothe ourselves in when we partake in it that makes it ‘good’ or ‘bad’.

When we approach someone to become intimate with them, are we motivated by true love for the other, the God-given desire to find connection outside of ourselves with that person?  Or are we driven to merely make our bodies feel good, to feel wanted by another, and to feel powerful – to take from them to feed our own hunger?

One type of sex connects and brings together.  The other consumes and tears apart.  They may feel the same, but they are worlds apart.  It’s no wonder sex has been misinterpreted so much.

If sex is a gun, then are our hands wielding it to protect and love someone or to steal and take what isn’t rightfully ours?

Sex is God’s idea, not a shameful one but His creative way to connect us in the ultimate form of intimacy… and a beautiful way to experience heaven on earth.

Settle It Today

A most excellent post–one of the best I’ve read in a long time (author Regi Campbell).

I want to implement this principle in my life: Always settle it today.  I hope you will, too.

xoxoxox,
Summer

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What’s Down In The Well

October 10, 2011 in blog with 0 Comments

What’s down in the well comes up in the bucket.

One of my young executives taught me a principle years ago that I’ve never forgotten. It was cathartic for me as a leader….and as a husband.

He said, “When something one of your employees does bothers you, confront them with it before that day ends. No matter how petty…how trivial…how embarrassing, confront it.”  Don’t go home; don’t let them go home without talking it out.

For years, I harbored grudges against my wife. “She’s not this”, “She’s not that” I’d complain to my friends (and anyone who would listen). Ultimately, my deceptive little heart used these judgements to pull away from her. I became even more critical…..more caustic. I used her “failings” to justify all kinds of failings on my end. It ended in disaster, with her leaving me and my life in shambles.

What would have happened if I had dealt with all that stuff? What if I had gone to an older, wiser friend and told him about my feelings and my judgements of her? What if I’d talked those things out with her IMMEDIATELY after I started feeling them? Who knows.

The reality is that it took her leaving to wake me up to the junk I had hidden down in my “well”. I couldn’t suppress it forever. It was going to come out; if not in the “bucket” of my words, in the “bucket” of my behavior. Like a splinter buried deep in the sole of your foot, it’s gotta’ come out or it’s gonna’ lead to real problems.

God created us for relationships. With Him, His son, His spirit and with other people. He taught us to keep short accounts…like “before dark” short. When we “man up” and deal with what’s lodged in our hearts, we’ll be healthier, “lighter”,  and more lovable.

It’s a discipline worth committing to.

Today.

I have to bring it up today.

I have to settle it today.

I have to talk it through today.

Don’t let yourself off the hook any more.

Deal with it now.

“Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life”  Proverbs 4:23

P.S. My  wife came back and we started over. Married 42 years now, the 28 since she left and came back have been extraordinary, thanks to the grace of Jesus Christ and Miriam Campbell. 

*Read the original post here: http://radicalmentoring.com/2011/10/whats-down-in-the-well/.

Living ‘Plan B’

We’ve all done it.

Expected God to work on our timetable.  Anticipated how our lives would unfold.  ‘Known’ our future career, life plans, how many kids we would have, who we’d marry.

Then life rudely interrupts.  How dare you, life!  This is my story, and you’re wrecking it.  Dr. Del Tackett (Focus on the Family) describes this as “Someone stepping on our script”.  Life is all about me, so whoever stands in the way is the enemy.  Right?

Have you ever had this experience?  Our response to these detours, delayed dreams, disappointments, and every other ‘D’ word says a lot about who we are… and what we put our hope in.

The reality is that sometimes, following God is HARD.  He does not give us the blueprint for our lives, the road map we will travel, the extreme disappointments or detours we sometimes face, the failures we encounter (our own and others).

This doesn’t sit well with our Inner Control Freak–the OCD one that wants to figure out life and keep it under our thumb.  We want to call the shots.  The American Dream after all is about realizing your plan for your life–Higher Powers not included.

But I’m learning that the sooner we surrender the American Dream and follow God’s dream for us, the better off we will be.

Blasphemy?  For diehard Patriots, it seems to be.

God is — if you haven’t figured it out yet — unpredictable.  Yet He’s still in control.  He knows ahead of time what you’ll face, good/bad/and ugly-ugly.

This weekend I read where Jesus tells His followers that our Father knows what we need before we ask.  Good news!  He sees beyond our finite timeline and already knows our life’s twists and turns–some exhilarating, some terrifying, and some crushingly painful.

I had this very experience 2 years ago when I moved to Atlanta.  I moved there with the highest of hopes–believing God had told me to go.  I jumped at the chance, in faith.  I didn’t foresee that in the months to follow, every hope and dream in my heart would be dashed.  (Sad story?  No way–God has turned me in a brand-new direction that is much better than the plans I’d had in this city!)

My time there wasn’t without purpose, but the wandering and deep pain was brutal, at the time.  I wondered if God forgot me or if He just never intended to bless me.  Every faith-filled promise was challenged at my core.  At some point, I stopped believing God was for me and assumed life was bitterly hard.  I’m a little sad to say I gave up hope.

During my time there, two Scriptures continuously “popped up” everywhere I turned:

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are Mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.”
-Isaiah 43:1-2

And then this one, a promise I HATED (truthfully!).  When I came across it, I rolled my eyes, scoffed and quickly flipped the page–or tuned the speaker out.  Just a little telling of my heart’s condition, huh?  Eep.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:11

The truth is, I didn’t believe Him.  Hope?  I didn’t want hope–it had gotten me nowhere except heartbreak.  So I glossed over this verse whenever it came up.  Plans to prosper me?  Yea, right.  I’ve heard that one before honey.  I’m in the digging-in-your-heels-and-fighting-like-hell stage.  Hope-filled futures and prosperity weren’t even on my radar.  I was just trying to survive.

I wonder if you’re experiencing this right now, or if you may someday.  I hope not, but if this happens in your life, you are hearing ahead of time that God cares for you and that you aren’t alone in walking this difficult path.

9 months into my Atlanta venture, He let me know something else, too.  Out of nowhere, as if trying to get a message across to me, this thought kept resonating in my heart:

You are living Plan B. 

……….

Hold the phone.  Say what?  HOW?  I’ve been following ‘Your’ voice this whole time.  Right?

Then a week or two later, my roomie told me about a little book titled Plan B.  At its mention, something jumped within me.  Suddenly I knew I was living Plan B.  I didn’t know how or why, but I realized I was missing God’s “divine will” for me somehow.

In retrospect I see the truth in this.  I was pursuing the wrong dream, one manufactured in my own heart, not His.  That’s what I followed when moving to Atlanta–myself.  I didn’t know that then.  I was fully [and wrongly] convinced that God Himself said to go, but as months and then a year dragged on, that Voice spoke the truth that I was living outside His ideal for me.

You see, months before moving, God warned me not to spite someone I knew (an Atlantan)–that if I did, I would delay my future.  Then He repeated Himself.  He warned me that my disobedience would cost me precious time and delay a huge blessing in my life.  Per (my old) usual, I strongheadedly forged ahead anyway.  Never a good idea.  I believe my tough time in this city was the price I paid.

So that painful journey wasn’t God’s “Plan A” for me?  Nope–I really don’t think so.  He graciously walked me through it, true to His word, but it wasn’t without severe repercussions.  I don’t recommend taking your own road for this reason :)  But sometimes our stubborn wills won’t learn any other way.

Atlanta turned out to be exactly that: a detour keeping me focused on the wrong dream, and taking me away from the right man and the right city–Plan A.

I’m so thankful to say that towards the end of my Atlanta experience, God rapidly brought the puzzle pieces of my life together for marriage and relocation to Austin, TX.

Oh Lord, thank You for speaking to me there.  Thank You for encouraging me ahead of time, letting me know You’d walk through the waters with me and not let the fire set me ablaze.  You are so kind and merciful to tell us what we need to hear before we walk through it!!  Even if we don’t recognize You in our midst, thank You for being there anyway.   

So now, ‘without further adieu’, here’s the message I needed to hear so desperately last year–the central message of this Plan B book I’d heard about.  I only wish I’d read this then!

Have you ever felt like you stepped out on faith and smashed it to pieces?

Maybe you honestly felt like God was calling you to do something or go somewhere, but once you did it everything seemed to begin to fall apart. Now you’re trying to pick up the pieces and get your life back on track, while wondering how you could have felt so sure about something that ended up being so wrong.

They say every cloud has a silver lining, but does it ever feel like the silver linings of all the clouds are tarnished?

You are desperately searching for a ray of hope in the midst of the storm that is your life, but it seems like every time you see a light shining down from the clouds, it turns out to be a bolt of lightning that knocks you back down. You know that storms are inevitable and rain is necessary if fruit is to be produced, but you are wondering if the storm is ever going to end.

Do you ever feel like you are asleep and can’t wake up?

You are drifting in and out of consciousness, knowing that you need to wake up and get going because there is so much more to life than where you are at and what you have done, but you can’t figure out how to snap out of the funk and get things moving in the right direction. You know that for things to get better, you have to stand up and get moving, but it would be so much easier to pull the covers up over your head, shut out the rest of the world, and let yourself fall into a deep sleep.

“What do you do when God doesn’t show up the way you thought He would?”
“What do you do when your life isn’t turning out the way you thought it would? “
“What do you do when your dreams are shattered? “

Pete Wilson is pastor of Cross Point Church in the Nashville, TN area and he addresses these three questions, among others, in Plan B: What Do You Do When God Doesn’t Show Up The Way You Thought He Would.

Have you ever read a book that seemed like the whole purpose of it being written was so that you could read it at the exact time and situation you are in? This was that book for me. At a time when I was feeling beat down, hopeless, and searching for answers, this book was a God-send. Literally. As I was reading it, I felt like God was using the words of Pete Wilson to communicate a message of hope and comfort at the time I needed it most.

Thank you, Pete Wilson, for writing this book and for your willingness to allow God to speak through you.  Find out more about the book: planbbook.com.

And now, my earnest question for you: Have you ever lived Plan B?  What did you learn thru this experience?