“The planet does not need more successful people.
But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind.
It needs people who live well in their places.
It needs people of moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane.
And these needs have little to do with success as our culture has defined it.”
~David Orr
Is there an area of your life where you consistently lack peace?
No matter how many times you’ve tried to “get it under control”, you can’t. It gets the best of you and seems to mock you, putting your flaws on parade in front of you and other people.
Then congratulations! You’re human, having a human experience.
So what if the solution for humanity’s common struggle is surprisingly simple? Not easy necessarily. Simple.
I have a question for us. What is the hallmark of Jesus’s presence in our lives? In every biblical situation where Jesus was present, what was the result?
He said it Himself: Peace.
When He rules an area of our lives – instead of our feeble attempts to control our behavior or our less-than-effective ways to muster up our own confidence/ courage/ strength – we can rest in Him. We surrender the control we presume we have and give it to the One who actually does.
Jesus calmed storms. He healed people of real ailments like blindness and lameness and bleeding disorders. He encouraged an adulteress and lovingly spoke with a lady who’d been married five times and was living with her boyfriend.
In each scenario, Jesus righted things that were out of order in each person’s life, things that weren’t in line with His perfect plan for them. He doesn’t want people to be sick, lame, diseased, or having sex indiscriminately. And He didn’t want His disciples to perish in a storm.
So He showed up and brought His peace with Him.
When each person came to Him with their need & limitations (their broken body, messed-up relationships, storm-tossed ship), He brought His authority over the situation and BAM! Magic happened.
Miracles, actually.
In order for Him to do the same for us, we must admit we can’t do it ourselves. That we can’t control our over-eating, we can’t heal what hurts inside our hearts or even figure out WHAT hurts us so much, that we can’t ever make “enough” money to satisfy our limitless pit of wants, that we can’t bring back a miscarried child or undo abuse we’ve endured.
We can’t do it. We are humans, having a human experience, and that human experience is that WE LACK CONTROL.
The sooner we recognize our common limitation, the sooner we’re able to get help from the One with none!
I can tell you from my own life that He waits and allows us to make our own poor choices before “interfering”. He will not rob you of your God-given freedom of choice! God will let you continue on your broken path, messing up your life, trying to gain control over everything and everyone around you (or appearing to gain control, that is).
Sometimes He’ll allow reminders in your life to show you that you aren’t in control, such as illness or financial struggles or a failed relationship. Is that His will for you? Likely not. But He wants you to come to depend upon Him because your life will never make sense until you do.
So why don’t we just stop the crazy cycle and get off the control train? Let’s admit we don’t have it under control and that we never did! And then let us – in that same breath – ask Him to take control of our lives. NOT IN A CREEPY WAY – He is not a control freak!
He will only take over the areas you’ve given Him. But until you surrender them to Him, those areas of your life will be in chaos. Please take it from me! But if you’re a true control freak, you likely won’t take my word for it, will you? I know I wouldn’t have before I went through my own storms. I was master of my own ship, or so I thought.
Surrender. He asks for your surrender over each area, lovingly, gently, but firmly. You can choose to… or cling to a delusion of control and your life will continue spiraling downward. You’ll burn other people along the way and waste your life as a sinking ship.
Wherever Jesus reigns, peace rules. If Jesus is not in charge, chaos ensues.
Give Him authority over every part of your life – especially the outta control ones – and watch Him change your life. And quiet the storm in your heart – the struggle for control.
The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here.
-Romans 13:11-12
Today this Scripture was highlighted to me. Your redemption draws nigh!
Redemption is His glory at the end of a long, difficult road. God is weaving His redemption into each of our lives every passing day. He is making our lives beautiful, turning what the enemy meant for evil into good.
This is the story of how He redeemed me.
College and the years after brimmed with deep pain and darkness for me. Some people call it the “Dark Night of the Soul”. This was mine.
During my teenage years I had some tough experiences, things people should never have to deal with. What followed was a decade of indescribable pain. Life was crushing. I don’t know how else to describe it.
The first year was a blur; I simply don’t remember much. Each subsequent year was filled with searching, grasping for something to heal my wounds. Utter desperation. Despair. Teeny glimmers of hope after all seemed lost. And extreme confusion.
I turned over one stone only to uncover more. There were LAYERS to this thing, this mountain of pain I held inside. What was the answer? What did I need most?
I realized I faced a choice: Deal with my experiences with my Healer’s help, the One I’d walked away from years prior, or turn away again to other ‘lovers’.
By the grace of God, this time around I chose Him.
As the pain intensified – which often happens on the road to freedom — I shrank back in fear, a shell of myself. I sought Him, but leaned heavily on other crutches to make it through. I didn’t want to unleash a torrent of struggles onto others, and I struggled to trust them, so I fumblingly turned to God again and again. I slipped, yes!, but I returned to His feet. I sought His heart for me. I sought His salve and His touch… but I didn’t fully trust Him either. Intimacy terrified me, so I played peek-a-boo with my Saviour for much too long, thinking He wouldn’t approve when He saw me up close.
But that’s not what we learn from His precious promises to us. God shows His heart for His beloved, despite their repeated betrayal, in Hosea:
Come, let us return to the LORD.
He has torn us to pieces
but He will heal us;
He has injured us
but He will bind up our wounds.
After two days He will revive us;
on the third day He will restore us,
that we may live in His presence.
Let us acknowledge the LORD;
let us press on to acknowledge Him.
As surely as the sun rises,
He will appear;
He will come to us like the winter rains,
like the spring rains that water the earth.-Hosea 6:1-3
Ever so slowly, light shone into my prison. God entered and chased away my shame, one lie at a time. He began stripping me of old habits and destructive cycles, revealing to me a new abundant way of life. Then He did a remarkable thing. Like His word says, He gave me a new name!, one spoken to me in the depth of the pit: JOY. I stared back at the man who spoke this over my life, this word of faith, through the eyes of deep sadness and pain. Joy — me? He said I’ll bring joy wherever I go? Wow! How unthinkable in that season, but how like our Creator to make us into the unthinkable–something glorious–when we could’ve never accomplished it on our own. How beautiful! :)
One painstaking step of faith at a time, I learned to trust my Creator as He showed Himself most trustworthy! This word became true in my life:
The LORD sets prisoners free,
the LORD gives sight to the blind,
the LORD lifts up those who are bowed down,
the LORD loves the righteous.
The LORD watches over the alien
and sustains the fatherless and the widow,
but He frustrates the ways of the wicked.-Psalm 146
This story of redemption is yours, and it is mine. And it is life-changing when we share it with others.
Revelation 12 teaches us invaluable information about our redemption, our salvation:
Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:
‘Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God,
and the authority of His Christ.
For the accuser of our brothers,
who accuses them before our God day and night,
has been hurled down.
They overcame him
by the blood of the Lamb
and by the word of their testimony;
they did not love their lives so much
as to shrink from death.’
To overcome our mutual enemy, each of us must share our story in our circles– proclaim our freedom, God’s redemption of our pain! Scripture says “Let the redeemed of the Lord say so!” Speak it. Share our travels. Surely somewhere along the way, we will meet others struggling through areas God has given us victory in. With these people we are compelled to share that freedom is possible, they are not alone, and such beauty awaits them on the other side.
And that’s why I share mine.
Some sat in darkness, in utter darkness,
prisoners suffering in iron chains,
because they rebelled against God’s commands
and despised the plans of the Most High.
So He subjected them to bitter labor;
they stumbled, and there was no one to help.
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and He saved them from their distress.
He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness,
and broke away their chains.
Let them give thanks to the LORD for His unfailing love
and His wonderful deeds for mankind,
for He breaks down gates of bronze
and cuts through bars of iron…
He sent out His word and healed them;
He rescued them from the grave.
Let them give thanks to the LORD for His unfailing love
and His wonderful deeds for mankind.
Let them sacrifice thank offerings
and tell of His works with songs of joy.-Psalm 107
Do you see it? Despite our self-made prisons and self-imposed chains, God breaks down bronze gates and iron bars. This is redemption. It is God giving ear to our cries in our distress. It is our powerful Saviour rescuing us from every kind of death.
Hallelujah :)
God didn’t just save me from darkness. He saved me to someplace, a place He carved out for me before the world began. (Thanks to Beth Moore for this revelation!)
Ten years after the nightmare began, after believing no man would brave peering into my brokenness or would find beauty there, God gave me my heart’s desire: He made me a radiant bride! I didn’t think this time would actually come. If my tough experiences had taught me anything, it was that I’d always be in ‘waiting mode’. Yet, that assumption proved false. Even now I find it hard to wrap my mind around how far He’s brought me. Me. Redeemed.
Yet here I am.
My mom called my attention to this recently at my “early birthday” celebration, words I can’t forget. She said that despite the long journey I’ve taken — the pain and sadness, my desire to get married earlier than I did, and the painful waiting period that ensued — when my time arrived, God blessed me with two weddings, two honeymoons and all kinds of two-ness (two becoming one)! [Yes, we had two wedding celebrations: our wedding day with parents and pastor, and a huge one with all our loved ones.] As she said this, instantly this verse flashed into my mind:
Instead of your shame
you will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
and everlasting joy will be yours.-Isaiah 61:7
[and in the Amplified]:
Instead of your [former] shame you shall have a twofold recompense; instead of dishonor and reproach [your people] shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double [what they had forfeited]; everlasting joy shall be theirs.
Before marriage, I felt shame. Many of my God-given dreams hinged on meeting the right man, starting a family and creating a life together. But my dreams tarried.
Yet now I see how the Lord has turned each of these challenging times around for my good. Each painful season changed something in me that needed to be changed, and each tough path I have traveled thus far has shown me new pathways to healing and freedom that I now share with others. God has made “all things work together” on my and my husband’s behalf, and in the process He has made (and continues to make!) our story soo beautiful!
A year ago I would have never envisioned the life I’m now living every day. I recall one moment last spring when God whispered to me, in my utter despair, “It’s always darkest before dawn.” He knew that after enough time passed and life didn’t happen as I’d imagined, hope died in me.
But God is faithful! Eight months later I was blessed with two totally unique weddings — one flanked by New Mexico’s gorgeous snow and mountains and the other surrounded by Florida’s sunshine, sand and palm trees — and two honeymoons, when I’d only dreamed of one! Both days were exceptionally beautiful.
Wow! Did I deserve such grace after the places I’d been? Or after failing to believe that He cared for me and would bless me one day? No I didn’t. Yet, that’s what grace means. It isn’t earned or merited. It is freely given.
His word promises us,
I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten –
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm –
My great army that I sent among you.
You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the LORD your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
never again will My people be shamed.-Joel 2:25-26
Repaid me He has. And this is just the beginning of my story.
His promises are so beautiful because they are so true! He will give us beauty for ashes, a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. That’s just what He’s done (and continuing to do) in my life. And that’s just what He’s doing in yours.
God’s final promise of redemption will greet us in the next life. It is such a glorious promise! Savor each word because this is His promise to YOU and to me, to all His children, in the place He’s preparing for us:
“Though you were once despised and hated,
with no one traveling through you,
I will make you beautiful forever,
a joy to all generations.
Powerful kings and mighty nations
will satisfy your every need,
as though you were a child
nursing at the breast of a queen.
You will know at last that I, the Lord,
am your Savior and your Redeemer,
the Mighty One of Israel.
I will exchange your bronze for gold,
your iron for silver,
your wood for bronze,
and your stones for iron.
I will make peace your leader
and righteousness your ruler.
Violence will disappear from your land;
the desolation and destruction of war will end.
Salvation will surround you like city walls,
and praise will be on the lips of all who enter there.“No longer will you need the sun to shine by day,
nor the moon to give its light by night,
for the Lord your God will be your everlasting light,
and your God will be your glory.
Your sun will never set;
your moon will not go down.
For the Lord will be your everlasting light.
Your days of mourning will come to an end.
All your people will be righteous.
They will possess their land forever,
for I will plant them there with My own hands
in order to bring Myself glory.
The smallest family will become a thousand people,
and the tiniest group will become a mighty nation.
At the right time, I, the Lord, will make it happen.”-Isaiah 60
Until heaven, God will be working redemption in our lives here on earth. Each broken part of us He redeems, each wound He heals in this life points us to our final destination and the Ultimate Redemption of mankind. God promises a heavenly home where the sun never goes down! Tears are not cried! Unfathomable now, but it will be our reality later–just as I could never have hoped or dreamed or expected the life I’m now experiencing daily. I couldn’t have even wished for the love I now know in marriage. And this is just a glimpse of what’s to come.
I’ll leave you with God’s best promise of all. See for yourself–Ephesians 3:14-21. Let’s always remind ourselves and each other that we can trust God because He is faithful!
Simply put, I adore this song.
Leeland and Brandon Heath’s lyrics describe the heartbeat of what I hope my life is, the impact I desire to have.
I want to follow Him. I want to reach out and help people encounter Jesus, not the hokey-made-up-religious Jesus, but the life-altering, heart-holding, walks-with-me-talks-with-me, compassionate feels-our-hurts Man who saved my life. And yours (even if you don’t know it yet).
Jesus has saved me from unspeakable pain. He’s rescued me from deep darkness, from a pit of despair it took a decade to climb out of. Just this past year I’m seeing bursts of light everywhere! How could I have missed this? The world is full-color, after all, a truth I once relied on others to paint for me. I was unaware of life’s beauty then. My reality differed.
But all that’s changed.
This is no Interwebs pity party, mind you, so please don’t break out the tissues. This is a CELEBRATION! Of all He’s done for me. Of all He’s done and doing for you! This song encapsulates that — it captures my heart in a beautiful melody.
My old music faves depress me now. They used to be my mantras, for years. My how God’s moved and changed and healed my heart!
He continues to more each day. He brightens my life. I never have to go back to that pit! He’s shown me freedom, what tangled me up in the dark, and how to show others the way out.
And that’s the message of this song.
Once you’re free, you never wanna revisit old places. Leave them dead and buried. You have new horizons to explore! You have PEOPLE to reach with His hope.
If someone saved your life, all you’d wanna do is tell others what they did. Spread their love and share your gratitude!
And if they risked their life for you, you would likely be so stunned, so grateful, you would want to serve them somehow. Give them something, anything, to “pay them” what you really can’t return.
But what if Someone didn’t risk their life for you. They GAVE it. They died so you would spring to life. What would you do then? And what if they died for your friends too? Your neighbors?
I imagine you’d tell others about this person who died in your place, and theirs. Everywhere. As much and as often as you can. Who does that, after all? Who dies so that someone else may live?
We all know… Jesus did.
At times when I lose this “Gospel saving” perspective, I have only to turn on this song and sing the words. They remind me of my heart’s true desire, where I’ve lost focus in my life. They re-orient me to my life’s mission.
I want to follow Him …… into the world, into broken people’s homes. But I want to leave there ……. with chains dangling from my hands, the chains of people once in bondage. People who can know the freedom I, too, now know.
Don’t you?
Thank You loving Father for rescuing me. Where would I be without Your grace? Make this song my life. I want to help bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, the year of Jubilee to those who are bound. Help me, Father. Enable me to be like You, Jesus. Empower me Holy Spirit. In Jesus’ precious name I pray, amen.
I like Scriptures. They are positive. They bring JOY! If we practice them, we will walk in great health, peace, and prosperity in our souls.
Scripture is beautifully-written, indeed the most beautiful writing in existence. Some may argue with that, but that’s OK by me. I will always contend that God is the best Author of all. In fact, He created you and He created me.
He is so creative! God created us in His image, meaning we are creative too (wow, how humble of Him to allow us to share this remarkable trait!) Creativity is an amazing quality, a powerful force, yet our Father found delight in sharing it with us… I believe it’s an intrinsic quality in every human being. Just think of some of the most creative people you know: Didn’t their art inspire you? Draw you in? Touch some deep part of your heart and soul? That’s God shining through them!
God is also light. That means He does not — indeed, cannot – deceive. He is honest through and through. WOW! Can you imagine never having bad motives? Never pretending to be something/ someone you’re not OR misleading someone that you had pure intent when really you wanted glory, affirmation, money, status, power, or some other self-seeking desire? Not Him. He is pure of heart, pure of mind, pure of intention. I’m reminded of the Scripture describing a man named Nathanael as one “in whom there is no guile”. Jesus is described the same. That’s exciting to me that Jesus Himself qualified Nathanael’s character as a man without guile. Exciting because IT IS POSSIBLE FOR US! One of my deepest, most heart-felt goals is to be a person in whom there is no guile. That is my plea for my husband and my fellow church members. I know God can do this in us — He can make us people of pure intent, pure heart, pure motivations. But note the key word: pure. To be pure denotes a purifying experience that burns away impurities. I believe holiness is one of God’s chief goals and works in His people.
I wonder… do we tremble at the thought of Him?
Do we bow in humility when presenting our requests at His throne? Do we realize we’re bowing before the Maker of heaven and earth? Wow! I know I forget that more often than not, and that needs to change.
Repeatedly it’s been burning in my heart that my heart needs help. God, I often seek my own glory…. my own comfort…. friendship with man instead of friendship with the Man. I seek the wrong things. I stay busy instead of staying still. And I repent — but do I really? Because my history keeps repeating itself.
But then You intervene. And suddenly I’m doing things I never dreamt I’d be doing! Or old habits that clung to me for far too long begin fading away!!!!!!! SUDDENLY, as in the blink of an eye, I am FREE to be …. You? No no, You IN ME. YOU IN ME — the unique expression of You as only I, Your unique creation, can be. WOW!
How magnificent and wonderful and beautiful this creation is! I am at times in awe of who I am when You show up in me. But when You don’t, all I tend to see are vainglorious attempts at winning praise and affection. Half-hearted attempts at, well, anything. Emotion-led living. Judgmental thoughts, a sharp tongue, and that ugly demon pride.
But You in me — that is a sight to behold! That is where glory emits from my being….. because You peek Your head out and are free at last to use my feeble hands, my weak knees, my limited resources to do Your unlimited work! To achieve the impossible. To reach the ‘unreachable’. To push harder and longer and endure well past my breaking point. You, Sir, can do anything. Through me. Yes, even through me.
Most of us are well aware of our shortcomings. But I like what my pastor said recently — if we as the Body of Christ operate together (as one), we don’t have to experience the pain of our weaknesses. We don’t have to suffer on behalf of what each individual is limited to, not only because we all have CHRIST IN US (“the hope of glory”) but also because we can lean on Christ in each other to get us through. And Christ is a beautiful thing, indeed the beautiful One.
But we must let loose our dead nature for the alive Christ to burst forth! Our flesh only drags us down and keeps us — where else? — but on earth. Taking on Christ’s nature and removing our dead selves allows us to soar in the heavenlies with Him.
Christ, who is our peace….
He is our peace. He keeps us there, in peace, and at peace with one another. He is the Keeper of the Peace and the Bringer of the Peace! When we link arms and join hands, we are emulating Christ Jesus.
So what are we waiting for? Why don’t we dive into the Scriptures? Why don’t we — ahem, ME! — stop wasting time and FOCUS instead on Him, on His words to us, on what He may wanna teach us?
Why are we scared? He only wants to remove the dead, whittle away the impurities, bumps and lumps! He is making us beautiful, truly beautiful, what every woman longs to be (and every man longs to be near).
John 8:12: Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, “I Am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life.”
Don’t we want the LIGHT OF LIFE? Don’t we want Him to illuminate our soul, riddled with passionate lusts that the heathens are controlled by, and bring peace and healing there? Don’t we want Him to rise up in our spirits and spread love, glory, humility and wholeness wherever we go?
Do you want to touch the blind — and them see?
Do you want to comfort the brokenhearted — and bring healing to their loss?
Do you want to snatch the hell-bent from the flames?
Do you want to cooperate with our Father in the greatest Redemption story ever told?
Then what are you waiting for? Go. Do it :) Just don’t do it alone. Take Him with you — and invite other people to share the journey. For our spirits are willing but our flesh is weak. Let our kind Father’s Holy Spirit illuminate His word to you, one verse at a time, and see how your spirit comes alive. See how He bursts forth and overcomes even your fleshly temptations, your temperament’s failures, your habitual behavior. He can, has, and will continue to conquer all.
God,
I’m so sorry for not making Your priorities mine these last few months.
I’m sorry for vacillating between Your will and mine.
I’m sorry for seeking to get my own needs met in place of Your will. Or in place of others’ needs.
You keep repeating to me, through many others (a total answer to my prayer to You!), that I seek first Your kingdom and Your righteousness. Then all else shall be added to me — but that is NOT why You encourage me to seek Your kingdom. You want me to seek it because You have transformed my life and because I am not my own. Many people will be blessed through my obedience, a life lived for Your kingdom, not its own.
This explains the lost feelings here in Atlanta. This explains why the last 9+ months I haven’t been able to make sense of my life’s path… because I’ve been traversing two different paths.
Where do I belong?
What defines me, really… not a pretense but the real me?
What am I here for – not only Atlanta, but in this world?
What am I here to do?
These questions have all but haunted me since I stepped on Georgia soil.
You want us to get to a place of brokenness so we realize this life is not our own. And we should want it that way because Your agenda for our lives is far better than anything we could’ve ever hoped for, dreamed, or imagined.
You want my life to be clay in Your hands because You want to bless so many through me.
You’ve given me a testimony that can break chains – I know because it has! You’ve given me gifts that others desperately need to receive. You’ve given me words to say and write that heal. Not my words… Yours.
But how can they if I shut my mouth? How can You bless and bring life when I choose to speak death, or not speak at all?
Lord, I haven’t understood Your ways; I can say that even now. Your ways are higher!
I am just so sorry that, in the midst of not understanding, I’ve squandered so much. My name (in part) means “Opportunity”, and those You have given me — more than I could number. But how many have I not used? How many relationships have I sought out for selfish reasons? How many days have I idly wasted or filled with my own appetites :( How many times has my pride interfered with me speaking what You’ve placed on my heart to help others?
I know it’s a journey; I know I’ll never do it perfectly (though I’ve tried). I know You’ve brought me to this place, this day, for a reason…
You want my whole heart.
How else can we learn to believe Your promises than when we’re facing desperate circumstances?
And what other way can You capture our entire heart than to strip away all other lovers? We learn to walk by removing our crutches, and that’s what You’ve done.
I’ve never fully abandoned myself to You. Too much interfered.
I’ve feared blind faith. I’ve feared trusting anyone, anything again. But You, Father, are fully trustworthy. You prove that time after time after time again.
How many prayers of just my own have You answered, often at lightning speed? How many times have You delivered me from warfare far too powerful for me? How many times have You spoken to me? Touched and healed me? Touched and healed others through my prayers? And I’m just talking my own prayers. My mind spins to think of the innumerable others whose prayers You’ve raced to answer.
I’m sorry.
I know You forgive me. I thank You for that. I don’t want to take that lightly. Godly sorrow changes things; worldly sorrow doesn’t end. I’ve experienced both, and Your sorrow is far better. Thank You for giving it to me these last two weeks.
I’ve wanted and expected from You, but I’ve put those things before You. I’m thankful You haven’t given me certain things yet. I would’ve run back into my selfishness again, needs met.
It takes being without to understand how dependent we are on You. And to stay with You.
Twice I’ve been without power here in Atlanta, and I’ve learned how much doesn’t work without it. Many people worldwide live without the luxury of light and electricity. In America, our lives all but stop without it coursing through our homes.
That reminds me of You.
How far can we go without Your light? We flip a switch, but nothing flickers. The object we want to come to life remains dead without power to enliven it. It remains a square box, a dark room, a quiet radio until power returns.
I’ve been trying to conjure up such power myself – but I’ve learned Your power isn’t able to be counterfeited. It is impossible to rip off.
It either is…
… or it isn’t.
I’ve been trying to reach people, to touch their hearts, with my words.
But You’ve opened wide my eyes to how empty and hollow these words are without Your truth and Your heart behind them. I could say the perfectly wrong thing to a hurting person, thinking it was just what they needed to hear. But who am I to know what they need most? That only comes through You. And I can’t fake it. I’ll always be in danger of doing that if I’m operating apart from You.
I’ve wanted it to come easy. But some things, the best things, You’ve taught me come with a fight. We must fight for our own freedom and for that of others. And no war is won in a day. It can take weeks, years sometimes… but great battles yield great victories!
I’m sorry I’ve questioned Your heart, Father, during these trials — during the stripping away of everything to bring me to You. Hard times left me with a bitter taste in my mouth. Eventually, somewhere along the way, I resigned myself to believing that the Christian life was, more or less, about not getting my desires met. I thought the carrot would always dangle in front of me, and that You were — dare I say it? – cruel.
But that’s not what You were teaching me.
You were teaching me to seek Your kingdom first, not my own.
You were teaching me that You come #1. Before all my desires. Before the fulfillment of promises You spoke to me years ago.
Thank You that You’re jealous for me, like a Husband should be. Thank You that You wouldn’t let anything else take precedence in my heart or my head. Thank You that You haven’t given up on me even when the rest of the world has :) because of my faults.
This isn’t a pretend apology. This is the real deal. Thank You. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being so ungrateful, for not springing outta bed at the prospect of a new day — the way I used to as a young girl! I was so full of hope. Thank You for restoring that hope. I know it’s coming. I know it’s here.
Seek first Your kingdom and YOUR righteousness (not my own!!!)… and You’ll take care of the rest.
Thank You for teaching me that I don’t have to constantly seek ways to make money. You have that taken care of, You just ask that I align my life with Your will, and provision will come. I need not fear getting ripped off by some employer or getting taken advantage of. And if it happens, You’ll take care of them. You’ll pay me what I’m due, in due time. I just need to seek Your desires, not simply my own.
You want my heart, and You want all of it. You aren’t content with my heart pieces. Thank You for that, Father!!!!!!
That’s how You change the world: one person, one fully-surrendered heart, at a time. You light one light, and it lights another, until the whole stadium is filled – like the “Candlelight Ceremony” at ACU.
Thanks. What a battle it’s been! What a victory’s been won :)
Thank You for bringing me to the point of seeking Your kingdom, not my own.
I love You, Lord. I’m excited because I know Your plan is beautiful — not just for me, but for everyone around me. You crush me and my will to bring forth a much more beautiful plan… Yours.
