The Human Condition (Pt. 3)

Guys, I’ve left you hanging for a month! Are you biting your nails over there or what?! ;) I have tons of great things to share with you, so let’s complete this series shall we! It’s a good one.

In Part 1 we learned God’s view of our “Human Condition” (in Jeremiah 17): We have hearts drawn to evil… persistently. Ugh.

In Part 2 we discovered sin’s incredible power to destroy lives (including our own) and its long-lasting consequences i.e. The wages of sin is death. Something or someone had to DIE to pay for our wrongs – or else we die.

In Part 3 I am grateful to share with you God’s solution to our pressing need to be saved… from ourselves and from others! This is some weighty stuff, so I hope I’ve written clearly about this subject. I so wish someone had written something like this for me long ago.

~~

Have you ever wondered why Jesus is such a big deal to Christians? Or have you been like me (til age 22, when someone explained the full Gospel to me) & never understood why some guy you didn’t know had to die for sins you didn’t think you had, when you never asked Him to in the first place?

Or are you a Christian who doesn’t understand this Christ-dying-for-you thing? You may have prayed for Jesus to save you years ago yet still not grasp your daily need for His help & what He accomplished for you. It’s hard to appreciate a gift without knowing how much it cost, so I’ll try to explain what the Bible teaches us about this wonderful gift we’ve been given :)

I’ve been a Christian since I was 3 or 4 years old. I distinctly remember saying “Yes” when my parents asked if I wanted to give my life to God, going upstairs & kneeling beside my bed to pray for His forgiveness. It’s one of my earliest memories, yet it’s taken me several decades to begin to understand why this was the most important decision of my life.

The Bad News: Our Broken Condition

Like everyone else, we believe ourselves to be “good people” (who sometimes do stupid things), so this sin business is a bit far-fetched. Ridiculous even.

Yet when we make mistakes – especially big ones – we can’t help but feel weighed down. We wanna cover up what we did because it’s ugly. 

We can live in this state of “Hide & Seek” with our sin our whole lives, pretending bad decisions away and sweeping them under the rug.  Hebrews 3:13 says this: “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today,’ so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.”

Sin is, by its very nature, deceitful. And it hardens us to its terrible impact on our lives, if left unchallenged.

Sin says what you’re doing is “no big deal”, that “God loves & forgives me anyway”, and that the consequences aren’t as bad as they seem. This is a very slippery slope, and Scripture says one of the antidotes is other believers in our lives who can encourage & challenge you so you don’t slide down this path. The Bible adds the word “daily” – that’s how often our lives need examining! Every day sin is trying to dominate us. We must be vigilant & we need the help of others :)

It’s very easy to talk ourselves into doing something morally wrong and calling it “Okay” when we’re the only ones aware of it. Don’t let sin fool you!  I can tell you firsthand I did this for years, and no amount of justifying myself in my mind or “do-gooding” could remove the stain I felt on my conscience.

Because I was wrong. And I needed to be made right again.

We can give all we have to charity, but it won’t pay back the enormous debt we have to our Creator! If it did, philanthropy would be our answer… so why, despite our good deeds, do we have a lingering need to “make up” for our errors?

Our own hearts betray us, warning that we’re still indebted to God.

Scripture says “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”, so this applies to every one of us. Without help, none of us escape punishment! One day He will rightfully judge all of our wrongs, so we need to get right with Him before that day.

The Bible also says all our righteous acts are like filthy rags to God. Nothing we do makes us right in His eyes. Many religions offer a way to “right ourselves” with the divine and “undo” what’s been done via religious exercises like meditation, prayer, fasting, or helping others.

But Christianity acknowledges that we’ll never be able to pay back how much we’ve hurt others or God or ourselves. We can never take back what we did. Trying to atone for our sins is like covering mounds of mud with tiny strips of cloth – they couldn’t possibly absorb such a giant mess!

I am very thankful God was “long-suffering” and patient with me to endure my repeated sins. 2 Peter 3 says,

“In the last days mockers will come with their mocking, following after their own lusts, and saying, “Where is the promise of His coming? …

But by His word the present heavens and earth are being reserved for fire, kept for the day of judgment and destruction of ungodly men… 

The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.”

This passage details the earth’s future & today’s common phenomenon: Mockers saying “There is no God!“ without fear of imminent punishment if they continue rejecting Him.

Yet God is patient. He’s graciously giving people plenty of time to repent, which explains why people make continued poor choices and don’t appear to reap the consequences. Their judgment awaits if they don’t repent. God is awaiting the appointed time when everything we see will be destroyed.

The Good News: A Free Gift!

So what hope do humans have, who are daily drawn to evil & need to be washed clean of their actions? They need a Savior.

In light of God’s need to execute absolute justice on Judgment Day – my only pardon as a Christian will be that my penalty, the “death wages” I accrued in my lifetime, was paid for by someone else.

This someone had to be perfect – sinless – or their sacrifice would be meaningless. Their very kind gesture would still amount to “filthy rags” as far as earning righteousness is concerned.

However, Jesus was God’s Son & He was perfect! He didn’t have the same sinful human nature we have that draws us to sin – He was born of the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary, not of man’s “seed” but of God’s. That is why Jesus was able to overcome the temptations He experienced and the dreadful death He had… because He wasn’t subject (or enslaved) to our HUMAN CONDITION: the fallen nature. As a man with human limitations, Jesus was still vulnerable to our same temptations, yet the Spirit of God within Him helped Him withstand them.

Jesus single-handedly overcame the death, despair, and brokenness that people brought into this world through our fallen nature. He defied the devil and gave His life on our behalf so that we, too, could have a “rebirth” spiritually – a new nature like He had!

Because Jesus was the perfect sacrifice (“covering”) for our sins, God’s wrath over our wrongs was satisfied, and thus His Holy Spirit was able to coexist in human flesh. That is why we are now able to receive the Holy Spirit into our lives, and the reason we can invite Jesus into our hearts!

Before Jesus died, God’s people had to sacrifice animals to atone for their sins & they had to keep doing it. Jesus only had to die once because He was perfect.

This is what we call a very big deal! :)

Jesus bought me back from spiritual death because He paid for me Himself. He did this while I was still a sinner – and He did it for every person on earth.

The reason I have hope is that I ACCEPTED Jesus’s sacrifice. If I rejected it, I’d be as hopeless as if He’d never died for me.

Jesus alone was in the unique position to stand in my place because He hadn’t sinned. When He assumed my debt, He paid my costly entrance fee (Holiness) into heaven so I could be with God forever… but I had to accept His offer.

Many of us carry pride with us every day. We don’t wanna believe we need anyone, especially some gracious divinity who rights our perceived wrongs. If we did, we’d have to ADMIT we were wrong in the first place then LEAVE our bad path. Some of us aren’t willing to do that.

For years I sincerely didn’t see a need for God in my life either. I thought the idea was silly & not worth my time. Coming from a Christian girl who grew up in Christian circles. 

When Judgment Day comes, our good & bad deeds will be publicly revealed. Based on what we did with Jesus’s gift to us, we’ll receive a ticket “up” or “down”. Our forever-future hinges on our answer to this question: Did we receive Jesus’s gift or reject it?

The sad reality is that people go to hell every day because they refuse to face the truth about who they are inside & most importantly, about their great need for a Savior. They live their lives “proving” their worth – a total sham – and then face God after life is over with no valid excuse for their behavior. So He must punish them.

Many people succeed in this life yet fail in the most important one: Our future, eternal life. Mark 8:36 says,

“What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?”

We should never be so proud to admit we fail or that we need help because once we accept this, we open ourselves up to receiving Jesus, our salvation! But we must believe we’re sinners & that God made a way for us to become saints (in His eyes). 

I am so thankful for this next passage of Biblical truth! 1 John 1:9 states: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

YAY! God’s only requirement for salvation is that we CONFESS our wrongdoings to Him, accept Jesus’s sacrifice – our need for Him to cover us with His purity & innocence, and declare that He is now Lord (“ruler”) of our life. God then promises to purify us from all unrighteousness, making us right with Him.

“If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” Romans 10:9.

When I said “yes” to Jesus, God was able to balance my spiritual checkbook & declare I no longer owe Him or anyone else anything. 

I now stand debt-free before God with unhindered access to Him!

This wasn’t a “Get Outta Jail Free” card: My debt was paid, just not by me! And now I have great peace every day because I’m not living with the guilt of my past or the pain of what others did to me. I’m free!

Once you & I become believers in Jesus, we must keep in mind that He is our righteousness – “the One who’s made us right with God” – not anything we do or how well we perform as Christians. When we rest in what Jesus did, we are then free to live our lives loving people with His Spirit working through us. We don’t have to waste our lives “making up for” sins that have already been atoned for. We live in freedom and forgiveness.

Jesus set us completely free, even from our old lives! He saves us not only the first day we welcome Him into our lives, but every day we face temptation to return to our old ways. Jesus said in John 8:

“Truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin. The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”

We must realize that we are either SLAVES TO SIN or SLAVES TO GOD. There is no other one you can be enslaved to… but “slavery” to God is really true freedom! He loves us dearly and, by honoring Him in each area of our lives, we open the door in that area to be set free from what used to entangle us in our past.

If the Son sets you free (from sin), you will be free indeed (and IN DEED)! :)

And… My Favorite Part!!

One of my favorite aspects of our redemption is this: Jesus paid for the trouble I caused… and He HEALS the very same people I broke through my sin.

This also means that Jesus heals YOU & ME from the brokenness others gave us!

That is HUGE! Our Savior redeemed us from death in eternity… and He restores what sin destroyed in our lives (& in other people’s lives around us). We don’t have to live with the weight of what we did to someone else. We can apologize, release it to God, and ask Him to heal them because He is our healer. What more could we hope for in a God?

At the end of all this, God remains true to His character as the Good & Just Judge! And because of our Savior, we are free to be with our Father in heaven forever! We don’t have to experience separation from Him because of what we’ve done, and we don’t have to live with the guilt and shame and pain we caused others with our bad choices.

That is a miracle. That is why it’s called grace, or “unmerited favor”. We did nothing to merit grace, but by it we have favor with God nonetheless.

And to bring our 3-part series full-circle…. when we say ‘yes’ to Jesus, He CHANGES OUR HUMAN CONDITION!!

This is what people call being “born again” – having a new spirit different from your old sinful one! Jesus rebirths us by bringing His spirit into our hearts. His spirit within us gives us power to make better choices & gives us new, good desires in place of evil desires.

We are made “alive with Christ” and become “dead to sin”. IT IS AWESOME. We’re no longer slaves to our appetites, lusts, sins, pride & ego. We’re no longer powerless to overcome temptation. We are FREE to obey God because our sin doesn’t cling to us like it once did.

If you’ve ever struggled with habitual sins, addictions, or very bad patterns of behavior (like so many of us have), this is one of the greatest freedoms we receive in Christ. We are no longer enslaved to eating disorders, drugs, pornography, anger or depression. Christ set us free.

Yes, we must still battle our earthly flesh, but we have a heavenly spirit that makes us “more than conquerors” (as Scripture calls us). We must read God’s Word – which tells us His many promises He’s given to us – and claim them as our own when we become His child. We can then take a stand on God’s promises to experience freedom from every earthly temptation.

A lot changes when we surrender to Christ. The Bible is full of wisdom and truth about this change of state. It’s so important to read it regularly to understand the freedom we have in Jesus – the truths that set us free from our struggles & this world.

So my friends, this is the drastic measure God took to make us right with Him & secure our future with Him forever. Because that’s how much He loves us.

“At one time you Gentiles in the flesh… [were] separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world.

But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For He Himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in His flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that He might create in Himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.

And He came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near.

For through Him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus Himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord.  In Him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.”

~Ephesians 2

The World Begins Again

“Baby’s black balloon makes her fly
I almost fell into that hole in your life
You’re not thinking bout tomorrow
‘Cause you were the same as me
But on your knees”

{Written yesterday morning, May 15th, 2012}

This morning I awoke with a very heavy heart.  Vulnerable and open and sensitive and broken.  In this twilight sleep, I was reminded of a song I heard yesterday, Black Balloon by the Goo Goo Dolls, and it suddenly came to me…. what this girl’s “black balloon” was.

Drugs.

Lead singer Johnny Rzeznik was singing about her addiction, how it overtook her life, how he “almost fell into that hole in [her] life”.  This black balloon made her fly & “was [her] womb” – sheltering her from the harsh realities of the world.

Goo Goo Dolls songs seem to carry a deep weight with them.  But not a good weight.  Each time I’ve heard one lately, I’ve recognized why they resonate deeply with us, with me, especially my younger self.  They speak of deep things we experience as we grow up: losing our dreams, losing love, abortion (who knew Slide was about that?), pain, growing up in a harsh world.  Their common thread is this:

Hopelessness.

They don’t impart hope at all.  In fact they seemingly overwhelm you with despair.  Iris, Black Balloon, Name, and all their other great hits bring me to the same place: dark and empty.

After my mini revelation today, I read about Rzeznik’s upbringing – his parents’ deaths during his teens, raised by his sisters, his wife (or bandmate Robbie’s wife/ex-wife, they won’t say) being addicted to heroin and him trying to save her from falling deeper into that pit.  It was all incredibly – sad.  No wonder this guy’s songs throb with pain and depth.  This guy’s been through it.  But sadly, he hasn’t made it to the other side where hope is.

I hate seeing people suffer perpetually, their whole life one tragedy after another or at best a dark/cynical comedy.  It’s not meant to be like that.  God’s given us such hope!

BUTTERFLIES

Butterflies keep standing out to me lately.  They seem to be everywhere I go.  In our Costa Rican bedroom wall painting (above).  On the ranch’s fig trees.  In Costa Rica’s rainforest.  Even on Pinterest.

I read this on a Christian website about biblical symbols:

The butterfly Christian symbol represents and symbolizes the Resurrection.  The butterfly has 3 phases during its life:

1. The caterpillar – The caterpillar which just eats symbolises normal earthly life where people are preoccupied with taking care of their physical needs.
2. The chrysalis or cocoon – The chrysalis or cocoon resembles the tomb.
3. The butterfly – The butterfly represents the resurrection into a glorious new life free of material restrictions.

I hurt for the GGD lead singer and anyone else who goes through “the dark night”, enters the cocoon but never breaks free to the other side.  They stay in darkness.  Their cocoon, meant to be the death of their carnal (ungodly) nature and the place where they’re transformed into something beautiful, becomes their tomb instead of their womb - their birthing place.

They die.  And never come back to life.  They miss freedom on the other side of their painful journey.

Balloons were never meant to symbolize our dark addictions, black ones choking the life out of us and killing our dreams.

I envision balloons as childhood playthings that encapsulate how we felt as kids – carefree, flying, being above the pain and disappointment of the world, alive and free.  Many of us didn’t know pain or disappointment then.  We were drawn to balloons because they were like us: free from entanglements and floating above the mess.

So this morning, with all this swirling in my mind and on my heart….

I sat down to read God’s word.  I needed His comfort, words of hope and life.  And what two passages did I come across?  Job (knee-deep in misery) and Lazarus (dead in the tomb).  Hmm!

Job lost 10 kids (!!), his good health, his sweet wife (who turned bitter, as a former mother of ten might), his wealth, and his status.  Overnight.  Then his friends turned on him, blaming him for his misfortune.

And Lazarus?  He was overtaken by an illness that killed him.  I turned today to the part where people were murmuring that if only Jesus had been there, perhaps He could’ve saved Lazarus from death!  Mary telling Jesus she didn’t want to roll back the tombstone for fear of the stench.  And Jesus telling her Did I not tell you and promise you that if you would believe and rely on Me, you would see the glory of God? 

Then I read the unthinkable, mind-blowing conclusion: Lazarus alive!  And Job restored (two-fold)!!

God brought resurrection, renewal, HOPE to each of these desperately awful circumstances.  He’s been doing this in my life in recent months, too.  Amazingness.

“So will it be with the resurrection of the dead.  The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body.”  ~1 Cor. 15:42-44

“For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed.”  ~1 Cor. 15:52

Are all these things a signal to me….?  Is God surely saying He’s bringing resurrection life – renewed hope – back into my life?  Into areas I’ve deemed “dead” in the past, completely without hope of being awake/alive again?

Is He saying that to you, too?

The Best Revenge

“It ain’t heavy if you don’t pick it up.”

It sneaks up on you.  Fine one day, you find yourself changed a short time later.

You may have heard the story of how to boil a frog: Put him in cool water and slowly heat it up.  By the time the little guy’s aware how hot the water’s become, he’s halfway-cooked.  Works every time.

Bitterness is like that.  A friend, spouse, coworker, family member, even stranger hurts you.  You get angry (rightfully so)–but don’t release it.  So it hangs on.

Hebrews calls it a “bitter root”, and if it isn’t uprooted it blooms into a full-blown tree bearing poisonous fruit.  And what else does Heebs say bitter roots do?  They defile many.

We’ve all been the unfortunate recipient of a bitter person:

• The family member who always explodes over (minor) issues
• That man at work who brings his trademark derogatory attitude and snide comments with him each day (yay!)
• The pastor who vents from the pulpit and becomes hardened, ungracious, even judgmental (not in my experience, by the way)
• The bitter ex-boyfriend/girlfriend who just can’t move on/get over “what they did to me”

Maybe we’ve played some of these roles ourselves.

Forgiving is tough.  People say or do things that affect us for years, decades even.

• Reckless spending, debt and poor financial choices (someone with access to our money)
• Infidelity
• Fraud
• Abuse or neglect
• Harsh, hateful words
• Name-calling/stereotyping
• Driving under the influence
• Slander/gossip that colors people’s opinions of us
• Alcoholism

This list is endless.

The greater the hurt from someone’s actions, the more tempting it is to hang onto and the harder it is to release.

As many lives are spoiled by bitterness and a lack of forgiveness as by almost anything in the world. People go through physical and emotional breakdowns because they refuse to forgive others. The longer we carry a grudge, the heavier it becomes. We cannot afford to harbor bitterness in our soul….

Forgive and be forgiven. And then forget it. This is the secret of spiritual health. Keep short accounts with God and men. Dont lock bitterness and guilt within the closet of your soul. Allow the Holy Spirit to shine His divine spotlight in your heart. Let Him clean out every closet in your soul. Then claim Gods wonderful promise, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

-Evangelist Luis Palau (emphases mine) :)

Is such a burden worth hanging onto?  It only grows larger and heavier with time.  You risk losing your heart, your love for others, your joy and happiness, your peace, and healthy relationships (because you’re suddenly suspicious, thinking they’ll do the same thing to you that so-and-so did).  I know because it’s happened to me.

After years of carrying a burden of bitterness, I had this epiphany: Forgiveness is the best revenge.

Isn’t that what we want when we stay bitter–for them to suffer for what they did?  We want to “get back at them”, for someone to pay for their poor choices.  We instinctively understand that whole eye for an eye aspect of justice.  In OT times, a lamb lost its life.  Nowadays, we know Jesus paid.  And if someone refuses to accept His sacrifice to cover the sins they’ve inflicted on others, well then God said one day He’ll judge them.  “‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.”  And that day may come for them sooner than later–even on this earth.

So if we know justice will be served and then leave it in God’s hands, let’s do ourselves and everyone around us a favor and let it go.  All of it.

We’ll free ourselves from the burden of repaying that person back.  We’ll leave room for God’s wrath (way better than ours anyway!).  And we’ll free ourselves to live without their influence guiding our choices anymore.

Yes, they hurt us.  But do we want to allow it to continue hurting us?  No way.

Forgiveness is truly the best revenge.  If this is our response, we’ll win that scenario every time.

Take the advice of one of our country’s most influential leaders to ever walk American soil–a man who overcame incredible hatred during his lifetime, lost his very life to hate and had every reason to return the favor:

“I’ve decided to stick with love.  Hate is too great a burden to bear.”  -Martin Luther King Jr.

Breakdown to Breakthrough: Joseph’s Story

This is one of the best posts I’ve read in a long time–about biblical Joseph’s breakthrough in Egypt.  Very well-written, great insight!  Read read read!  :)

xoxox Summer

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Breakdown to Breakthrough to Breakout
Mary DeMuth

It’s an interesting pattern we find in Scripture. First folks break down, then God breaks through. This leads to breakout. Look at Joseph. His breakdown happened slowly (but painfully) over many years as he suffered rejection by his brothers, was sold into slavery, framed by Mrs. Potiphar, and landed in jail. His breakthrough came when he learned to be obedient to God when no one was watching, when he entrusted his reputation to God. Only then did Pharah nab him and begged for dream interpretation. The breakout happened when Pharaoh promoted him in an instant, and Joseph was able to save the very family that rejected him.

Breakdown.

Breakthrough.

Breakout.

I’m in the breakdown phase right now. How about you? I’m the fishermen on Galilee, trusting far too much in my empty, unsatisfying nets. Nothing seems to be working. I place my nets over the edge of my boat’s precipice, hoping, hoping, hoping.

But something my friend Mike said in a prayer group sticks to me now. He said, “The disciples followed Jesus at the pinnacle of their livelihood.”

The disciples did have breakdown, then breakthrough when Jesus filled their nets with the biggest catch of their ENTIRE LIVES. Then He asked them to follow Him. They could’ve stayed. But they didn’t. They followed Jesus. And then the breakout, in terms of the kingdom of God and changed lives, exploded.

I wonder what would happen if I found success in this writing gig if I’d be willing to drop it all and follow Jesus no matter what. I’d like to say that I would, but I’m not sure. I’ve been working so hard at this for so long. The sweet reward of success is intoxicating. I pray I’ll be able to leave it all, if He asks.

You may be wondering why I have this particular picture on my post. It’s the church I walked by every day bringing my kids to school in France. In that moment, as my career was in its infancy, God asked me to follow Him to France. And I did (oh by His strength). So, perhaps it’s in my DNA to drop my nets. I pray so.

I want to follow.

q4u:

What about you? Where are you? Breakdown? Breakthrough? Breakout? Share your story.

Your Redemption is Near

The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed.  The night is nearly over; the day is almost here.

-Romans 13:11-12

Today this Scripture was highlighted to me.  Your redemption draws nigh!

Redemption is His glory at the end of a long, difficult road.  God is weaving His redemption into each of our lives every passing day.  He is making our lives beautiful, turning what the enemy meant for evil into good.

This is the story of how He redeemed me.

Redemption from Pain

College and the years after brimmed with deep pain and darkness for me.  Some people call it the “Dark Night of the Soul”.  This was mine.

During my teenage years I had some tough experiences, things people should never have to deal with.  What followed was a decade of indescribable pain.  Life was crushing.  I don’t know how else to describe it.

The first year was a blur; I simply don’t remember much.  Each subsequent year was filled with searching, grasping for something to heal my wounds.  Utter desperation.  Despair.  Teeny glimmers of hope after all seemed lost.  And extreme confusion.

I turned over one stone only to uncover more.  There were LAYERS to this thing, this mountain of pain I held inside.  What was the answer?  What did I need most?

I realized I faced a choice: Deal with my experiences with my Healer’s help, the One I’d walked away from years prior, or turn away again to other ‘lovers’.

By the grace of God, this time around I chose Him.

As the pain intensified – which often happens on the road to freedom — I shrank back in fear, a shell of myself.  I sought Him, but leaned heavily on other crutches to make it through.  I didn’t want to unleash a torrent of struggles onto others, and I struggled to trust them, so I fumblingly turned to God again and again.  I slipped, yes!, but I returned to His feet.  I sought His heart for me.  I sought His salve and His touch… but I didn’t fully trust Him either.  Intimacy terrified me, so I played peek-a-boo with my Saviour for much too long, thinking He wouldn’t approve when He saw me up close.

But that’s not what we learn from His precious promises to us.  God shows His heart for His beloved, despite their repeated betrayal, in Hosea:

Come, let us return to the LORD.
He has torn us to pieces
but He will heal us;
He has injured us
but He will bind up our wounds.
After two days He will revive us;
on the third day He will restore us,
that we may live in His presence.
Let us acknowledge the LORD;
let us press on to acknowledge Him.
As surely as the sun rises,
He will appear;
He will come to us like the winter rains,
like the spring rains that water the earth.

-Hosea 6:1-3

Ever so slowly, light shone into my prison.  God entered and chased away my shame, one lie at a time.  He began stripping me of old habits and destructive cycles, revealing to me a new abundant way of life.  Then He did a remarkable thing.  Like His word says, He gave me a new name!, one spoken to me in the depth of the pit: JOY.  I stared back at the man who spoke this over my life, this word of faith, through the eyes of deep sadness and pain.  Joy — me?  He said I’ll bring joy wherever I go?  Wow!  How unthinkable in that season, but how like our Creator to make us into the unthinkable–something glorious–when we could’ve never accomplished it on our own.  How beautiful!  :)

One painstaking step of faith at a time, I learned to trust my Creator as He showed Himself most trustworthy!  This word became true in my life:

The LORD sets prisoners free,
the LORD gives sight to the blind,
the LORD lifts up those who are bowed down,
the LORD loves the righteous.
The LORD watches over the alien
and sustains the fatherless and the widow,
but He frustrates the ways of the wicked.

-Psalm 146

This story of redemption is yours, and it is mine.  And it is life-changing when we share it with others.

Let the Redeemed of the Lord Say So!

Revelation 12 teaches us invaluable information about our redemption, our salvation:

Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:

‘Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God,
and the authority of His Christ.
For the accuser of our brothers,
who accuses them before our God day and night,
has been hurled down.
They overcame him
by the blood of the Lamb
and by the word of their testimony;
they did not love their lives so much
as to shrink from death.’

To overcome our mutual enemy, each of us must share our story in our circles– proclaim our freedom, God’s redemption of our pain!  Scripture says “Let the redeemed of the Lord say so!”  Speak it.  Share our travels.  Surely somewhere along the way, we will meet others struggling through areas God has given us victory in.  With these people we are compelled to share that freedom is possible, they are not alone, and such beauty awaits them on the other side. 

And that’s why I share mine.

Some sat in darkness, in utter darkness,
prisoners suffering in iron chains,
because they rebelled against God’s commands
and despised the plans of the Most High.
So He subjected them to bitter labor;
they stumbled, and there was no one to help.
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and He saved them from their distress.
He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness,
and broke away their chains.
Let them give thanks to the LORD for His unfailing love
and His wonderful deeds for mankind,
for He breaks down gates of bronze
and cuts through bars of iron…
He sent out His word and healed them;
He rescued them from the grave.
Let them give thanks to the LORD for His unfailing love
and His wonderful deeds for mankind.
Let them sacrifice thank offerings
and tell of His works with songs of joy.

-Psalm 107

Do you see it?  Despite our self-made prisons and self-imposed chains, God breaks down bronze gates and iron bars.  This is redemption.  It is God giving ear to our cries in our distress.  It is our powerful Saviour rescuing us from every kind of death.

Hallelujah :)

Beauty from Ashes

God didn’t just save me from darkness.  He saved me to someplace, a place He carved out for me before the world began. (Thanks to Beth Moore for this revelation!)

Ten years after the nightmare began, after believing no man would brave peering into my brokenness or would find beauty there, God gave me my heart’s desire: He made me a radiant bride!  I didn’t think this time would actually come.  If my tough experiences had taught me anything, it was that I’d always be in ‘waiting mode’.  Yet, that assumption proved false.  Even now I find it hard to wrap my mind around how far He’s brought me.  Me.  Redeemed.

Yet here I am.

My mom called my attention to this recently at my “early birthday” celebration, words I can’t forget.  She said that despite the long journey I’ve taken — the pain and sadness, my desire to get married earlier than I did, and the painful waiting period that ensued — when my time arrived, God blessed me with two weddings, two honeymoons and all kinds of two-ness (two becoming one)!  [Yes, we had two wedding celebrations: our wedding day with parents and pastor, and a huge one with all our loved ones.]  As she said this, instantly this verse flashed into my mind:

Instead of your shame
   you will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
   you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
   and everlasting joy will be yours.

-Isaiah 61:7

[and in the Amplified]:

Instead of your [former] shame you shall have a twofold recompense; instead of dishonor and reproach [your people] shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double [what they had forfeited]; everlasting joy shall be theirs.

Before marriage, I felt shame.  Many of my God-given dreams hinged on meeting the right man, starting a family and creating a life together.  But my dreams tarried.

Yet now I see how the Lord has turned each of these challenging times around for my good.  Each painful season changed something in me that needed to be changed, and each tough path I have traveled thus far has shown me new pathways to healing and freedom that I now share with others.  God has made “all things work together” on my and my husband’s behalf, and in the process He has made (and continues to make!) our story soo beautiful!

A year ago I would have never envisioned the life I’m now living every day.   I recall one moment last spring when God whispered to me, in my utter despair, “It’s always darkest before dawn.” He knew that after enough time passed and life didn’t happen as I’d imagined, hope died in me.

But God is faithful!  Eight months later I was blessed with two totally unique weddings — one flanked by New Mexico’s gorgeous snow and mountains and the other surrounded by Florida’s sunshine, sand and palm trees — and two honeymoons, when I’d only dreamed of one!  Both days were exceptionally beautiful.

Wow!  Did I deserve such grace after the places I’d been?  Or after failing to believe that He cared for me and would bless me one day?  No I didn’t.  Yet, that’s what grace means.  It isn’t earned or merited.  It is freely given.

His word promises us,

I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten –
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm –
My great army that I sent among you.
You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the LORD your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
never again will My people be shamed.

-Joel 2:25-26

Repaid me He has.  And this is just the beginning of my story.

His promises are so beautiful because they are so true!  He will give us beauty for ashes, a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  That’s just what He’s done (and continuing to do) in my life.  And that’s just what He’s doing in yours.

Our Final Redemption

God’s final promise of redemption will greet us in the next life.  It is such a glorious promise!  Savor each word because this is His promise to YOU and to me, to all His children, in the place He’s preparing for us:

“Though you were once despised and hated,
with no one traveling through you,
I will make you beautiful forever,
a joy to all generations.
Powerful kings and mighty nations
will satisfy your every need,
as though you were a child
nursing at the breast of a queen.
You will know at last that I, the Lord,
am your Savior and your Redeemer,
the Mighty One of Israel.
I will exchange your bronze for gold,
your iron for silver,
your wood for bronze,
and your stones for iron.
I will make peace your leader
and righteousness your ruler.
Violence will disappear from your land;
the desolation and destruction of war will end.
Salvation will surround you like city walls,
and praise will be on the lips of all who enter there.

“No longer will you need the sun to shine by day,
nor the moon to give its light by night,
for the Lord your God will be your everlasting light,
and your God will be your glory.
Your sun will never set;
your moon will not go down.
For the Lord will be your everlasting light.
Your days of mourning will come to an end.
All your people will be righteous.
They will possess their land forever,
for I will plant them there with My own hands
in order to bring Myself glory.
The smallest family will become a thousand people,
and the tiniest group will become a mighty nation.
At the right time, I, the Lord, will make it happen.”

-Isaiah 60

Until heaven, God will be working redemption in our lives here on earth.  Each broken part of us He redeems, each wound He heals in this life points us to our final destination and the Ultimate Redemption of mankind.  God promises a heavenly home where the sun never goes down!  Tears are not cried!  Unfathomable now, but it will be our reality later–just as I could never have hoped or dreamed or expected the life I’m now experiencing daily.  I couldn’t have even wished for the love I now know in marriage.  And this is just a glimpse of what’s to come.

I’ll leave you with God’s best promise of all.  See for yourself–Ephesians 3:14-21.  Let’s always remind ourselves and each other that we can trust God because He is faithful! 

Follow You

Simply put, I adore this song.

Leeland and Brandon Heath’s lyrics describe the heartbeat of what I hope my life is, the impact I desire to have.

I want to follow Him.  I want to reach out and help people encounter Jesus, not the hokey-made-up-religious Jesus, but the life-altering, heart-holding, walks-with-me-talks-with-me, compassionate feels-our-hurts Man who saved my life.  And yours (even if you don’t know it yet).

Jesus has saved me from unspeakable pain.  He’s rescued me from deep darkness, from a pit of despair it took a decade to climb out of.  Just this past year I’m seeing bursts of light everywhere!  How could I have missed this?  The world is full-color, after all, a truth I once relied on others to paint for me.  I was unaware of life’s beauty then.  My reality differed.

But all that’s changed.

This is no Interwebs pity party, mind you, so please don’t break out the tissues.  This is a CELEBRATION!  Of all He’s done for me.  Of all He’s done and doing for you!  This song encapsulates that — it captures my heart in a beautiful melody.

My old music faves depress me now.  They used to be my mantras, for years.  My how God’s moved and changed and healed my heart!

He continues to more each day.  He brightens my life.  I never have to go back to that pit!  He’s shown me freedom, what tangled me up in the dark, and how to show others the way out.

And that’s the message of this song.

Once you’re free, you never wanna revisit old places.  Leave them dead and buried.  You have new horizons to explore!  You have PEOPLE to reach with His hope.

If someone saved your life, all you’d wanna do is tell others what they did.  Spread their love and share your gratitude!

And if they risked their life for you, you would likely be so stunned, so grateful, you would want to serve them somehow.  Give them something, anything, to “pay them” what you really can’t return.

But what if Someone didn’t risk their life for you.  They GAVE it.  They died so you would spring to life.  What would you do then?  And what if they died for your friends too?  Your neighbors?

I imagine you’d tell others about this person who died in your place, and theirs.  Everywhere.  As much and as often as you can.  Who does that, after all?  Who dies so that someone else may live?

We all know… Jesus did.

At times when I lose this “Gospel saving” perspective, I have only to turn on this song and sing the words.  They remind me of my heart’s true desire, where I’ve lost focus in my life.  They re-orient me to my life’s mission.

I want to follow Him …… into the world, into broken people’s homes.  But I want to leave there ……. with chains dangling from my hands, the chains of people once in bondage.  People who can know the freedom I, too, now know.

Don’t you?

Thank You loving Father for rescuing me.  Where would I be without Your grace?  Make this song my life.  I want to help bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, the year of Jubilee to those who are bound.  Help me, Father.  Enable me to be like You, Jesus.  Empower me Holy Spirit.  In Jesus’ precious name I pray, amen.

Freedom from Reproach

I found this excellent spiritual resource online today and think it’s precisely what I and others have needed to hear for a looong time.  Thanks God!

My hopes are it blesses you like it has me! 

~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~

“Do you find yourself inhibited, unable to be whom God has destined you to be?

Rehearsing what others have said about you?

Replaying past failures?

It is time to be free… truly free!” 

And so begins this fabulous article “Freedom From Reproach”.  Read it here: ft111.com/freedomfromreproach.htm

Addicted

In the words of John Mayer, we all self-soothe somehow… me?  Music.  People.  Cooking.

What are yours?  When life’s edgy, money’s low, pain comes, or you’re alone.. where do you turn?

We’re all designed to be comforted.  I know I need it. 

Like today… my ambitious plans for the day were scrapped by a sudden need for rest and peace.  After spending my morning with a friend, I found myself needing encouragement this thunderstormy afternoon.  But my friend was on an airplane elsewhere.

Far from family and lifelong friends, I have just a few trusted Atlanta friends right now.  I’ve met loads of people, but trust takes time.  For reasons such as distance and others, sometimes people can’t be there for us… so we learn to turn elsewhere.  

Without human comfort, many people seek unhealthy ways to escape pain.  This is a false comforter, and it’s meant to take your mind off the present and bring you elsewhere.  We call ‘em coping mechanisms.  Gone unchecked, our methods of coping become addictions, and the longer we feed them, the more fierce the battle for freedom becomes. 

Walking out one’s freedom can be excruciating because an addict has conditioned himself to send pain packing in the form of a bottle, a meal, or a host of other things.  He’s never learned to deal with life; he’s just run away.  To kick an addiction, he has to re-learn how to face troubles head-on.  In recovery, the addict often experiences for the first time emotions he froze out years earlier. 

When they break free, many former addicts say they feel like they suddenly ‘came to’, like awakening after a long absence.  How can that be?  They were living life one day at a time like the rest of the world, so where did they go all those years?

They fled the present.  They got so wrapped in the arms of their comforter that they detached from today.  They weren’t living their lives at all — they were running all those years. 

I’ve done that, too. 

Over the years I turned to people, but many didn’t know how to handle what I was going through because they hadn’t personally experienced it, or for others, they had but hadn’t dealt with it.  Where once we connected, I now felt a massive void with old friends and family who couldn’t walk with me through my experience. 

The more misunderstood and alone I felt, the more I burst to share with someone who could offer comfort or peace or answers.  I wanted to share with them the true me, including my story.  But to my surprise, I found most people wanted me to pretend my way through the healing process and ‘fake it til you make it’.  But hiding persistent pain unraveled me.  

To pretend you didn’t walk through pain doesn’t make it any less real, it only isolates you from the present and the people around you.  It hinders progress.  It encourages you to live on the surface of life, in a shallow contrived personality, not in your true self.  It beckons you to hide your heart, not unveil it.  So I learned that in order to move forward, I must acknowledge my past without dwelling on it, just simply say This is part of God’s story in my life.  He will redeem it. 

Our pain is not evil… but leaving people alone in it – that is evil.  In the words of Ben Harper:

My eyes burn with unshed tears
My body is weak from so many silent years
Too many people say goodbye before they say hello
Step into the morning and disappear

If we pass by a hurting person roadside, bleeding and broken, we in essence heap dirt on their grave because we’re letting them die.  It’s not always a physical death (the Good Samaritan comes to mind); sometimes it’s an emotional or spiritual death.  We cannot sit by and watch their hope die, their peace be stolen from them, without a fight.  Without helping.  There are some things in life people cannot bear alone.  Enter friendship :)

Human nature’s knee-jerk reaction is to run from ugly reality and towards shiny happy things, pretending life is always beautiful.  Not only do people run from their own personal pain but from yours, too.  For this very reason, pain often isolates us.  Nothing’s wrong with you for hurting; people just don’t want the reminder.  Your pain snaps them back to the present, the one they’ve been fleeing, and leaves them needing comfort. 

So now you’re asking- What’s the good news Debbie downer?  Hah, I’m glad you did!

The good news is we aren’t alone, ever, even when our closest friends aren’t “getting it”.  He is our hiding place in hard times, and Beloved that is not a pretty sentiment; it’s true!  As real as the chair you are sitting on is our Father above who watches, sees, and will repay any evil done to you.  He redeems pain (Ps 103:4), collects our teardrops (Ps 56:8), and demands payment from the thief, who when apprehended must repay seven times what he stole from you (Prov 6:31).  Vengeance is His; He will repay (Rom 12:19)! 

There is hope for the addicted.  Instead of reaching for what brings us fleeting comfort, let’s reach for Him.  Here’s a beautiful Starfield song demonstrating His presence even in our pain:   

In the shadows, I can hear Your voice
Singing to me
In the valley, I can hear Your heart
Reaching for me now
And I wait flooded with the strength of Your peace

You’re my defender, the shield of my heart
You are my hiding place
When terror surrounds me, You keep me from harm
You are my hiding place

In the darkness, I can feel Your light
Wrap around me
In my suffering, I can feel Your joy
Rising in me now
And I wait, flooded with the strength of Your peace

Here before You, Jesus
In this place
Here before You now
Face to face

Under the shelter of the Most High
Will I be saved, and will I abide

He is our hiding place.

My Deliverer, You Set Me Free…

Confession!

This Mandisa song used to seriously annoy me.  It seemed uber cheesy. 

Confession over :)

Today her words rang in my ears (against my will)… but then I realized how relevant they are in my life today.  Ready — steady – go!

I was so helpless
Where did the light go
I had no hope left
Deep down in my soul
I was watchin
I was waitin
I was prayin
I was stayin down on my knees
That’s right where You found me

My Deliverer, You rescued me from all that held me captive
My Deliverer, You set me free
Now I’m alive and I can live
So every moment I will give You praise
My Deliverer

There’s no pretending
I can’t do it myself
I’m so dependent
Lord I need Your help
I’ll be watchin
I’ll be waitin
I’ll be prayin
I’ll be stayin down on my knees
That’s right where You’ll find me

My Deliverer, You rescued me from all that held me captive
My Deliverer, You set me free
Now I’m alive and I can live
And every moment I will give You praise