Growing Bamboo Roots

I’ve been toying with a temptation lately, something that allures many of us in difficulty: the temptation to quit.  The stress of what’s going on in my life feels far beyond what I can bear (not trying to dramatize, just wanna be transparent on this blog thingy :)

I think we all value Authenticity–myself especially–yet I’ve seen myself grow increasingly fake as I’ve struggled to handle what’s happening in my heart.  How do I tell people?

Welp, I haven’t.

But I think bearing burdens together makes you grow stronger, not weaker like I’ve always feared.  Grief shared is halved.  Whenever I’ve opened up, I felt much lighter and free-er, and my struggle lost much of its power/grip on me.  And my fears–the ones that told me to give up–died when brought to light.  I began asking myself, What was I so scared of?

Today I stumbled upon a fantastic ditty on “Quitting”, written by a man named Stephen Diffy (with some additions/edits by me).  I hope his piece inspires you to keep going, to trust God when we’re hard-pressed, and to not give up either.

We press on.

xoxox Summer

———-

One day I decided to quit… I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality… I wanted to quit my life.

I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

“God,” I said. “Can you give me one good reason not to quit?”  His answer surprised me.

“Look around,” He said.  “Do you see the fern and the bamboo?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.  I gave them light.  I gave them water.  The fern quickly grew from the earth.  Its brilliant green covered the floor.  Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.

“But I did not quit on the bamboo.  In the second year the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.  And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.  But I did not quit on the bamboo,” He said.

“In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.  But I would not quit.  In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.  I would not quit,” He said.  “Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.

“Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant… but just 6 months later, the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.

“It had spent the five years growing roots.

“Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.  Without deep roots, the bamboo would have never grown to be so tall–it wouldn’t have had the strength to support its massive height.

“Trust Me when you don’t see progress in your life.  I would not give any of My creations a challenge it could not handle or one without purpose.”

He said to me, “Did you know, My child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots?

“I would not quit on the bamboo.  I will never quit on you.  Don’t compare yourself to others,” He said.  “The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern… yet they both make the forest beautiful.

“Your time will come,” God said to me.  “You will rise high!”

“How high should I rise?” I asked.

“How high will the bamboo rise?” He asked in return.

“As high as it can?” I questioned.

“Yes,” He said.  “Give Me glory by rising as high as you can.”

I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.  Never regret a day in your life.

Good days give you happiness
Bad days give you experiences
Both are essential to life.

“A happy and meaningful life requires our continuous input and creativity.  It does not happen by chance.  It happens because of our choices and actions.  And each day we are given new opportunities to choose and act and, in doing so, we create our own unique journey.”  Keep going…

Happiness keeps you sweet,
Trials keep you strong,
Sorrows keep you human,
Failures keep you humble,
Success keeps you glowing,
but only God keeps you going!

Playing it (Too) Safe

Just turned twenty-eight.  Wooohooo.  Blow the kazoo, I’m one step closer to 30!

From the get-go of this year, I sensed God saying that this was the year I’d face my fears. 

Uh oh. 

You see, I had this sudden twenty-eight-year-old epiphany.  I’m not fully living.

Why not?  I’m scared to.

I’m confined–or rather, I confine myself–to a handful of places (all pre-screened of course).  Anywhere I feel safe.

But I’ve never been a “stay-at-home, play-it-safe” kinda girl.  Or rather, I wasn’t.  This is a recent development.

Growing up, I was an adventurer at heart!  Amelia Earhart was my favorite heroine.  I relished the joy of discovery–in my backyard, with new friends, learning new ideas.  With people, I boldly trusted often and many.  People mocked my open-eyed wonder and idealistic view of life, but I was ummoved.  I had no reason to question the beauty of our world.

I’ve been an explorer throughout my life.  As a child, my family jet-setted us around the country.  Then in college, I studied abroad, trekking across a near-dozen European countries, and later spent time in South Africa on a missions trip.  After graduation, I spent a semester at a leadership institute in Colorado Springs, then took a three-week roadtrip across the country before settling “home” in Florida for a few years.  Next came a dramatic move to Atlanta, and ultimately I landed here in Austin, Texas.

I loved all of it–the adventures, up and downs, sleeping in airports, planes-trains-automobiles, crazy experiences and had-to-be-there moments.

While abroad, I learned something fascinating.  In life, there are two types of people: Travelers and Tourists.  We can learn a lesson from both.

Tourists are focused on checklists, efficiency, tour guides and buses.  They can’t fathom wasting precious travel time on an unplanned detour.  They want to somehow control the process of discovery and, thus, miss the very essence of traveling.  Yes, they saw The Pietà and walked the Great Wall of China, but they did so at the expense of the journey–being immersed in a new world, interacting with people not-unlike-themselves.

Au contraire, Travelers linger in each place they visit, taking in the sights/sounds/tastes/funny people/and quirky charm of each destination.  They chill at a cafe instead of standing in line for the Eiffel Tower.  They allow the journey to lead them down unexpected paths–and don’t try to mold their experience to some guidebook.

Okay, you’re wondering, What do Travelers and Tourists have to do with “playing it safe”?

Everything!

With each new place I visited, my world got bigger.  My travels forced me outside my American mentality and broadened horizons.  Suddenly my world exploded in size.  I know, cliche right?  But true!

We must leave our tiny towns to realize how big our world is and appreciate that as fellow people, we’re “all in this together”, regardless of our locale.

When we stay in the smallness of our worlds, we can forget others living with much deeper needs than ours or who are plodding the same path we are.

Living small makes us small.  We lose sight of new ways of living and think our culture has the best and only way.  Hah!  :) We should try a Spanish siesta for a change-of-pace or lounge in restaurants for 3 to 4 hours like the French do.  Maybe we should visit Hong Kong’s brightly-lit grittiness or encounter the third-world-country reality.

I believe our borders are much too small.  And sadly, in my own life, I’ve forgotten these lessons. 

I’ve lost sight of our big world–allowed fear to thrive and squeeze out my adventurous spirit.  I’ve started living dangerously small–don’t-leave-the-house, don’t-talk-to-people-everyday, worry-about-our-cushy-5-figure-income small.

I’ve gotten–comfortable.  I’ve stopped taking risks.  I’ve stopped putting myself out there.  I’ve started hiding in my comfort zone, fearing newness and settling into (say it ain’t so!) routines.  (For Adventurers at heart, routine is a four-letter word!)

“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future.

The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day, to have a new and different sun.”

-Chris McCandless, “Into the Wild”

When did I become like this?

I’ve become a shell of myself.  I’m not connecting with people anymore.  And in marriage, I’m reaching a wall–the wall built with my two hands.  The wall of isolation, the one I erected (funny word :) to keep others at bay.

And it’s working.

No one knows the hurt I carry except my (sweet) (overwhelmed) (strong/brave) hubby.  He witnesses the meltdowns, the fear-filled accusations hurled his way, the trepidation and caution with which I approach new people now.

Apparently somewhere along the way, my heart decided it’d had enough.  People were ‘all the same’, more or less, and relationships were painful.  People weren’t who they said they were–didn’t stick around like they promised–took without apology or retribution–didn’t care, wrapped up in their own worlds (me included).

In short, people were people.

So I stopped journeying out of my comfort zone, embracing new places and people and experiences, investing in new relationships.  I maintained old ones, yes, but tentatively.  And you-better-believe I cut off any decidedly crappy friends.

My pastor called me out recently, exposing a false belief I didn’t even know I had.  He recognized my need for Control in my life today, saying my strict religious upbringing (wonderful in ways, very controlled in others) gave me a sense of security with its high level of “Controls”.  When I ventured beyond these in college and got hurt, I re-implemented serious Controls to make sure that never happened again.  Some call this legalism.  I like to call it being religulous :)

I convinced myself that controlling my world would keep me safe–so I made sure nothing threatened my security again.  This required a major adjustment to my adventure-loving lifestyle.

I began avoiding risky adventures with the same gusto I once pursued them.  I stopped revisiting any place I’d been scarred, especially Big Bad Scary Places like bars/clubs, parties, and anywhere with free-flowing alcohol and undisciplined men [wisely so, I'll add].  This spilled over into an avoidance of certain sections of town… then being around people who reminded me of so-and-so… then eventually anywhere–in large part–outside of God’s house (not entirely safe either, as there are humans in there!).

I thought this was the answer to pain–avoid crazy adventures, people and places, and be content staying right where you’re at.

So I went into hiding.

I’ve hidden in judgment (certainly), religiousness/spiritual activity, and–most alarming to me because I wasn’t aware til marriage–denying reality.

But withdrawing isn’t the answer.  It can’t be.  God says ‘Go into all the world’, something my younger self said YES! to without question.  Every time I withdraw, I squelch who I really am: that excited traveler who relishes each new discovery made.

My tiny, fear-based, me-centered world is miserable.  But where can I go?  How can I be safe out there?  Lions.  Tigers.  Bears!

But when I’m old, do I want to say I lived “free from harm”, avoiding every imperfection/sin in others (and thus pain)?  Each tempting scenario and uncontrollable situation?

No.  Never.

So I can’t stay here anymore.  I must conquer this debilitating fear or risk traveling the landscape of my life like a Tourist: full of checklists, ‘to-dos’, rigid rules and especially “Thou shalt nots”.  I’ll be so focused on controlling my life that I’ll miss the beautiful journey altogether. 

And I think that would be the saddest sin of all.  To live small.

So how do I break myself free from this “prison” of one?  And how will you?

Your Redemption is Near

The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed.  The night is nearly over; the day is almost here.

-Romans 13:11-12

Today this Scripture was highlighted to me.  Your redemption draws nigh!

Redemption is His glory at the end of a long, difficult road.  God is weaving His redemption into each of our lives every passing day.  He is making our lives beautiful, turning what the enemy meant for evil into good.

This is the story of how He redeemed me.

Redemption from Pain

College and the years after brimmed with deep pain and darkness for me.  Some people call it the “Dark Night of the Soul”.  This was mine.

During my teenage years I had some tough experiences, things people should never have to deal with.  What followed was a decade of indescribable pain.  Life was crushing.  I don’t know how else to describe it.

The first year was a blur; I simply don’t remember much.  Each subsequent year was filled with searching, grasping for something to heal my wounds.  Utter desperation.  Despair.  Teeny glimmers of hope after all seemed lost.  And extreme confusion.

I turned over one stone only to uncover more.  There were LAYERS to this thing, this mountain of pain I held inside.  What was the answer?  What did I need most?

I realized I faced a choice: Deal with my experiences with my Healer’s help, the One I’d walked away from years prior, or turn away again to other ‘lovers’.

By the grace of God, this time around I chose Him.

As the pain intensified – which often happens on the road to freedom — I shrank back in fear, a shell of myself.  I sought Him, but leaned heavily on other crutches to make it through.  I didn’t want to unleash a torrent of struggles onto others, and I struggled to trust them, so I fumblingly turned to God again and again.  I slipped, yes!, but I returned to His feet.  I sought His heart for me.  I sought His salve and His touch… but I didn’t fully trust Him either.  Intimacy terrified me, so I played peek-a-boo with my Saviour for much too long, thinking He wouldn’t approve when He saw me up close.

But that’s not what we learn from His precious promises to us.  God shows His heart for His beloved, despite their repeated betrayal, in Hosea:

Come, let us return to the LORD.
He has torn us to pieces
but He will heal us;
He has injured us
but He will bind up our wounds.
After two days He will revive us;
on the third day He will restore us,
that we may live in His presence.
Let us acknowledge the LORD;
let us press on to acknowledge Him.
As surely as the sun rises,
He will appear;
He will come to us like the winter rains,
like the spring rains that water the earth.

-Hosea 6:1-3

Ever so slowly, light shone into my prison.  God entered and chased away my shame, one lie at a time.  He began stripping me of old habits and destructive cycles, revealing to me a new abundant way of life.  Then He did a remarkable thing.  Like His word says, He gave me a new name!, one spoken to me in the depth of the pit: JOY.  I stared back at the man who spoke this over my life, this word of faith, through the eyes of deep sadness and pain.  Joy — me?  He said I’ll bring joy wherever I go?  Wow!  How unthinkable in that season, but how like our Creator to make us into the unthinkable–something glorious–when we could’ve never accomplished it on our own.  How beautiful!  :)

One painstaking step of faith at a time, I learned to trust my Creator as He showed Himself most trustworthy!  This word became true in my life:

The LORD sets prisoners free,
the LORD gives sight to the blind,
the LORD lifts up those who are bowed down,
the LORD loves the righteous.
The LORD watches over the alien
and sustains the fatherless and the widow,
but He frustrates the ways of the wicked.

-Psalm 146

This story of redemption is yours, and it is mine.  And it is life-changing when we share it with others.

Let the Redeemed of the Lord Say So!

Revelation 12 teaches us invaluable information about our redemption, our salvation:

Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:

‘Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God,
and the authority of His Christ.
For the accuser of our brothers,
who accuses them before our God day and night,
has been hurled down.
They overcame him
by the blood of the Lamb
and by the word of their testimony;
they did not love their lives so much
as to shrink from death.’

To overcome our mutual enemy, each of us must share our story in our circles– proclaim our freedom, God’s redemption of our pain!  Scripture says “Let the redeemed of the Lord say so!”  Speak it.  Share our travels.  Surely somewhere along the way, we will meet others struggling through areas God has given us victory in.  With these people we are compelled to share that freedom is possible, they are not alone, and such beauty awaits them on the other side. 

And that’s why I share mine.

Some sat in darkness, in utter darkness,
prisoners suffering in iron chains,
because they rebelled against God’s commands
and despised the plans of the Most High.
So He subjected them to bitter labor;
they stumbled, and there was no one to help.
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and He saved them from their distress.
He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness,
and broke away their chains.
Let them give thanks to the LORD for His unfailing love
and His wonderful deeds for mankind,
for He breaks down gates of bronze
and cuts through bars of iron…
He sent out His word and healed them;
He rescued them from the grave.
Let them give thanks to the LORD for His unfailing love
and His wonderful deeds for mankind.
Let them sacrifice thank offerings
and tell of His works with songs of joy.

-Psalm 107

Do you see it?  Despite our self-made prisons and self-imposed chains, God breaks down bronze gates and iron bars.  This is redemption.  It is God giving ear to our cries in our distress.  It is our powerful Saviour rescuing us from every kind of death.

Hallelujah :)

Beauty from Ashes

God didn’t just save me from darkness.  He saved me to someplace, a place He carved out for me before the world began. (Thanks to Beth Moore for this revelation!)

Ten years after the nightmare began, after believing no man would brave peering into my brokenness or would find beauty there, God gave me my heart’s desire: He made me a radiant bride!  I didn’t think this time would actually come.  If my tough experiences had taught me anything, it was that I’d always be in ‘waiting mode’.  Yet, that assumption proved false.  Even now I find it hard to wrap my mind around how far He’s brought me.  Me.  Redeemed.

Yet here I am.

My mom called my attention to this recently at my “early birthday” celebration, words I can’t forget.  She said that despite the long journey I’ve taken — the pain and sadness, my desire to get married earlier than I did, and the painful waiting period that ensued — when my time arrived, God blessed me with two weddings, two honeymoons and all kinds of two-ness (two becoming one)!  [Yes, we had two wedding celebrations: our wedding day with parents and pastor, and a huge one with all our loved ones.]  As she said this, instantly this verse flashed into my mind:

Instead of your shame
   you will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
   you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
   and everlasting joy will be yours.

-Isaiah 61:7

[and in the Amplified]:

Instead of your [former] shame you shall have a twofold recompense; instead of dishonor and reproach [your people] shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double [what they had forfeited]; everlasting joy shall be theirs.

Before marriage, I felt shame.  Many of my God-given dreams hinged on meeting the right man, starting a family and creating a life together.  But my dreams tarried.

Yet now I see how the Lord has turned each of these challenging times around for my good.  Each painful season changed something in me that needed to be changed, and each tough path I have traveled thus far has shown me new pathways to healing and freedom that I now share with others.  God has made “all things work together” on my and my husband’s behalf, and in the process He has made (and continues to make!) our story soo beautiful!

A year ago I would have never envisioned the life I’m now living every day.   I recall one moment last spring when God whispered to me, in my utter despair, “It’s always darkest before dawn.” He knew that after enough time passed and life didn’t happen as I’d imagined, hope died in me.

But God is faithful!  Eight months later I was blessed with two totally unique weddings — one flanked by New Mexico’s gorgeous snow and mountains and the other surrounded by Florida’s sunshine, sand and palm trees — and two honeymoons, when I’d only dreamed of one!  Both days were exceptionally beautiful.

Wow!  Did I deserve such grace after the places I’d been?  Or after failing to believe that He cared for me and would bless me one day?  No I didn’t.  Yet, that’s what grace means.  It isn’t earned or merited.  It is freely given.

His word promises us,

I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten –
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm –
My great army that I sent among you.
You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the LORD your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
never again will My people be shamed.

-Joel 2:25-26

Repaid me He has.  And this is just the beginning of my story.

His promises are so beautiful because they are so true!  He will give us beauty for ashes, a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  That’s just what He’s done (and continuing to do) in my life.  And that’s just what He’s doing in yours.

Our Final Redemption

God’s final promise of redemption will greet us in the next life.  It is such a glorious promise!  Savor each word because this is His promise to YOU and to me, to all His children, in the place He’s preparing for us:

“Though you were once despised and hated,
with no one traveling through you,
I will make you beautiful forever,
a joy to all generations.
Powerful kings and mighty nations
will satisfy your every need,
as though you were a child
nursing at the breast of a queen.
You will know at last that I, the Lord,
am your Savior and your Redeemer,
the Mighty One of Israel.
I will exchange your bronze for gold,
your iron for silver,
your wood for bronze,
and your stones for iron.
I will make peace your leader
and righteousness your ruler.
Violence will disappear from your land;
the desolation and destruction of war will end.
Salvation will surround you like city walls,
and praise will be on the lips of all who enter there.

“No longer will you need the sun to shine by day,
nor the moon to give its light by night,
for the Lord your God will be your everlasting light,
and your God will be your glory.
Your sun will never set;
your moon will not go down.
For the Lord will be your everlasting light.
Your days of mourning will come to an end.
All your people will be righteous.
They will possess their land forever,
for I will plant them there with My own hands
in order to bring Myself glory.
The smallest family will become a thousand people,
and the tiniest group will become a mighty nation.
At the right time, I, the Lord, will make it happen.”

-Isaiah 60

Until heaven, God will be working redemption in our lives here on earth.  Each broken part of us He redeems, each wound He heals in this life points us to our final destination and the Ultimate Redemption of mankind.  God promises a heavenly home where the sun never goes down!  Tears are not cried!  Unfathomable now, but it will be our reality later–just as I could never have hoped or dreamed or expected the life I’m now experiencing daily.  I couldn’t have even wished for the love I now know in marriage.  And this is just a glimpse of what’s to come.

I’ll leave you with God’s best promise of all.  See for yourself–Ephesians 3:14-21.  Let’s always remind ourselves and each other that we can trust God because He is faithful! 

Women of Strength

This is good — contrasting “Strong Women” who seem to have it all together (who does?) and “Women of Strength” who rely on Him to make them strong.  My favorites are bolded:

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

A strong woman works out daily to keep her body in shape,
but a woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape.

A strong woman isn’t afraid of anything,
but a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of fear.

A strong woman won’t let anyone get the best of her,
but a woman of strength gives the best of her to everyone.

A strong woman walks sure-footedly,
but a woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls.

A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face,
but a woman of strength wears grace.

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey,
but a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

In a recent job interview, I was asked (half-seriously): If you were a superhero, who would you be and why? 

My response (after laughing!): “Superwoman, because she saves the whole world — and looks great doing it!”

Hah — Yes, I’m ridiculous.  But it got me thinking.  Is this our goal as ladies?  Apparently it was mine.  But the sad truth is I’ll (probably) never be Superwoman.  A girl can dream, and a cape may look good on me, but I’ll never be able to ‘do it all’.  Is that a tough pill to swallow or what?

Not you, you say?  After all you’re lacing up those sneakers for a third half-marathon… You cook gourmet fare 5 nights a week (does Kraft count?)… Your kids are honor roll-ees (except that one semester)…. You juggle work, marriage and motherhood with grace, poise (and caffeine).  And you look good doing it.

But if we’re honest, we’re worn out from the Superwoman treadmill.  I for one want to get OFF.  And I’d like to not incur judgment for doing it.  This means we must give and receive grace for messing up.  This means we can laugh at our mistakes, not take them personally, brush ourselves off and ask for strength the next time.

Our world tells us (and we wanna believe!) we can do it all – achieve it all – but we reach The Wall eventually. We all face limitations. I fight my own weaknesses.  Funny enough, though we try to cover them up or downplay them, people around us know our faults anyway.  Time tells all.  We can’t hide them, so why not vocalize them and ask for people’s help?   This makes our struggles lose their power over us!

“But wait!” you say.  “Superwoman can’t ask for help!  Who will take her seriously?”

One of my favorite quotes ever says Never trust a leader without a limp.  If someone is unwilling to own their flaws in front of their people, they are not yet fit for leadership. A true leader must reveal who they are — warts & all — in order to successfully encourage others.  When a leader covers their struggles, they appear prideful and a tad dishonest (or outta touch with reality).  Pride leads to falls.  Dishonesty leads to much worse.  Neither trait qualifies a person to lead.

Some people have told me how “strong” I am and that I have my “act together”.  This makes me question myself: Do I show others I’m merely a strong woman who relies on myself or do I show that I’m a woman who relies on God to help me excel?  Do I grab His glory and hang onto it myself, or do I pass it on to the only One who owns it (and can handle it)?

Does my strength come from ME or from Him?  If Him, then people should be singing His praises when strength and excellence show up in my life!  People are drawn to those who have Supernatural Strength in their lives.  If you and I continuously give God the kudos, others will be more likely to turn to Him in their time of need, too.

Because we’re all weak sometimes.  We all need strength and courage and help.

“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”  – Isaiah 40:31 

Are we pointing other ladies to Christ’s power in us, or are we keeping His praise for ourselves?  Are we relying on our own power, or are we gaining strength from Him?

Food for thought.  And (I hope) for change.

The Blessed Life :)

I spoke to those in captivity of all the things the LORD had shown me.  -Ezekiel 11:25

Thursday God gave me this scripture.  Clear as a bell ringing in my heart, I felt Him impressing upon me to share what I’ve been learning in the fire, in my fear, in confusion, and in the newness I’ve experienced this year.  He is certainly doing “a new thing”!  

Today the Lord is speaking more than I can download here.  On a side note, I get reeaaally excited when He speaks.  QT is my love language after all!  I’m like a giddy schoolgirl when He talks to me – eager to share it with the world.  So here goes. 

Below I’ve written principles that invite God’s blessing into our lives and help us experience the blessed life!

First, from my (amazing!) hubby, awesome advice I need to apply to my own life.  I assure you, he lives these principles: 

“Build each other up!  Wake up each day focused on how you can ‘edify’ someone else.  Edify means to enlighten, inform, instruct, educate, improve, and teach.  When you are idle, you tend to focus inwardly, and usually negative…. But we are designed to be externally focused, and we are blessed by blessing others…  

“I want Summer to be proud of me and in every situation, even ones where she’s not in the room.  I want to Honor her with every conversation I have about her… [and] I expect her to do the same… not in return for how I act, but independently of how I act.  Because the moment we start saying well she didn’t compliment [me] enough here, so I’m not going to love on her here… then the relationship falls apart.  But if each of us (independently of each other’s actions) tries to love in the best way we know how (regardless of either of our failures) then we have real love.  We are externally focused, and usually enjoying the heck out of it.” 

Secondly, from one of my fave books The Blessed Life by Robert Morris: 

“Go the extra mile.  Romans 12 tells us, ‘If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men’ (v. 18).  Frankly, I would much rather be cheated by men and blessed by God than to insist on fairness from men but forfeit God’s blessing.  Every time I’ve done the right thing, God has always blessed me.”  Amen!

And lastly, we’re blessed by worshipping him.  Here’s a stunningly beautiful song by Watermark, one of my *Faves*  :)

Happy Tuesday,
Summer

Wedded Bliss

Today, three-months into marriage, I stumbled upon these beautiful songs I’d saved for the day when the right man came into my life. 

So many times I listened to these songs, dreaming of that day (yes, I’m such a girl!).  Yet despite my growing desire for commitment, my fears kept it at arms-length, whispering to me that it would somehow unravel me. 

But last summer, something BIG changed.  The day came when my passion for experiencing true love superceded my fear, and now I stand 3-months deep into a lifelong journey of loving one person through thick&thin, wedded bliss and yes, ugly sin.  Marriage, I’ve learned, is far more deep, complex, joyful and exciting than I’d ever imagined, dreamed or hoped!  Marriage is a beautiful thing, precisely because it’s imperfect.  God shows us how much He loves us by teaching us to love and be loved in the most marred areas of our hearts, at our core, where no one else dared tread.  Beautiful indeed.

In honor of this, I dedicate these songs to my husband and to finding the right person (in whatever magical, divine way that happens), falling in love, and taking the plunge.  It can be scary — I know — but beyond worth it. 

As it was once said, “The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment.”  But you won’t experience intimacy any other way than if you let someone in, share your true self with them, and give them the opportunity to love you back.  All I can say?  The best decision I’ve ever made.