Women of Strength

This is good — contrasting “Strong Women” who seem to have it all together (who does?) and “Women of Strength” who rely on Him to make them strong.  My favorites are bolded:

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A strong woman works out daily to keep her body in shape,
but a woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape.

A strong woman isn’t afraid of anything,
but a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of fear.

A strong woman won’t let anyone get the best of her,
but a woman of strength gives the best of her to everyone.

A strong woman walks sure-footedly,
but a woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls.

A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face,
but a woman of strength wears grace.

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey,
but a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.

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In a recent job interview, I was asked (half-seriously): If you were a superhero, who would you be and why? 

My response (after laughing!): “Superwoman, because she saves the whole world — and looks great doing it!”

Hah — Yes, I’m ridiculous.  But it got me thinking.  Is this our goal as ladies?  Apparently it was mine.  But the sad truth is I’ll (probably) never be Superwoman.  A girl can dream, and a cape may look good on me, but I’ll never be able to ‘do it all’.  Is that a tough pill to swallow or what?

Not you, you say?  After all you’re lacing up those sneakers for a third half-marathon… You cook gourmet fare 5 nights a week (does Kraft count?)… Your kids are honor roll-ees (except that one semester)…. You juggle work, marriage and motherhood with grace, poise (and caffeine).  And you look good doing it.

But if we’re honest, we’re worn out from the Superwoman treadmill.  I for one want to get OFF.  And I’d like to not incur judgment for doing it.  This means we must give and receive grace for messing up.  This means we can laugh at our mistakes, not take them personally, brush ourselves off and ask for strength the next time.

Our world tells us (and we wanna believe!) we can do it all – achieve it all – but we reach The Wall eventually. We all face limitations. I fight my own weaknesses.  Funny enough, though we try to cover them up or downplay them, people around us know our faults anyway.  Time tells all.  We can’t hide them, so why not vocalize them and ask for people’s help?   This makes our struggles lose their power over us!

“But wait!” you say.  “Superwoman can’t ask for help!  Who will take her seriously?”

One of my favorite quotes ever says Never trust a leader without a limp.  If someone is unwilling to own their flaws in front of their people, they are not yet fit for leadership. A true leader must reveal who they are — warts & all — in order to successfully encourage others.  When a leader covers their struggles, they appear prideful and a tad dishonest (or outta touch with reality).  Pride leads to falls.  Dishonesty leads to much worse.  Neither trait qualifies a person to lead.

Some people have told me how “strong” I am and that I have my “act together”.  This makes me question myself: Do I show others I’m merely a strong woman who relies on myself or do I show that I’m a woman who relies on God to help me excel?  Do I grab His glory and hang onto it myself, or do I pass it on to the only One who owns it (and can handle it)?

Does my strength come from ME or from Him?  If Him, then people should be singing His praises when strength and excellence show up in my life!  People are drawn to those who have Supernatural Strength in their lives.  If you and I continuously give God the kudos, others will be more likely to turn to Him in their time of need, too.

Because we’re all weak sometimes.  We all need strength and courage and help.

“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”  – Isaiah 40:31 

Are we pointing other ladies to Christ’s power in us, or are we keeping His praise for ourselves?  Are we relying on our own power, or are we gaining strength from Him?

Food for thought.  And (I hope) for change.

The Music in You

The science gurus recently discovered something awesome: Music helps people exercise longer, harder, and enjoy it more!

Why?  Because something about music makes time ’pass’ faster. 

Today as I worked on my contract job (web work), not something I eagerly “look forward to”, I opened Pandora because I LOVE music.  It makes the tediousness of my job more bearable.  Many times I find myself loving it!  Who knew?

Then I connected the dots…music makes everyday life better! 

What is it about music that suspends time?  I’m not sure, but cleaning my house, lifting weights, painting walls, even yard work have all been greatly improved by music.  I turn it on all the time! 

Isn’t that what God tells us to do when we’re in the midst of trial after trial and exhausting circumstances?  He says to PRAISE Him.  Over and over again He communicates in Scripture that our victory is linked to our worship.

Many mornings He awakens me with a song, and it’s definitely not my own doing.  The song’s often a random one pulled from the recesses of my memory and popped into my head as I wake.  Then as I prep for my day, the song arises and I’m suddenly aware that it’s exactly what I need to overcome what I’m facing that day or that moment.

Amazing!

He puts the music in you!  Why?  Because He wants us to overcome, so He gives us songs to rise above what would otherwise be unbearable. 

His music suspends time, making difficulties pass faster than if we sat silent and endured the pain.

Could this be why music was central in the lives of slaves centuries ago or Holocaust victims in concentration camps?  Music makes our spirits soar and takes our eyes off the situation we’re in.  It turns drudgery (ahem, running 6 miles) into fun!  And not just that - it makes us want to run faster.  This sounds crazy… except for the fact that music changes something deep in us and propels us onward. 

Sweet!  :)

This should inspire us to run to worship Him when we’re struggling.  Open your mouths today and praise Him!  You’ll find it’s exactly what you need to give you great joy during hard times, exceedingly abundant joy!

Perfect You?

You don’t have to be perfect.

How many ways does He say it to us?  How long does it take to sink in?  You don’t have to be perfect.  You never will be!  That is hard to hear and harder to accept.  We’ll never do everything right.

Why does writing those words make me angry?

Is it because we’ve been conditioned to think that being less than perfect makes us less worthy of love and respect?  Is that why admitting mistakes to ourselves and others is so hard - because we believe they’ll love us less?

A good way to know if you’re struggling with perfectionism is to study yourself: What happens when you see people ‘fail’?  If she gains some weight, he gets divorced, or she looks away briefly and the baby falls down the stairs… is your instinct compassion and grace, or is it judgment?  Do you respect them less after you learn of their failures?

At no point do we reject grace more than when we are performing perfectly.  After all, we were feeling really good about ourselves, then someone barged in and pointed out our flaws.  And on the flipside, at no point do we embrace grace more joyfully than when we’re swimming in our failures.

Perhaps this is why God grants us the grace to fail – because He knows the outcome.  He doesn’t want you caught up in the “rat race” the rest of your 40-50 years on earth, thinking you had to earn it.  Because you didn’t.  Yet otherwise, you would’ve never known you’d been loved and accepted all along,and your life would’ve been hell proving yourself to a world that continues to set the bar higher for you.  And still higher.

I recently moved to Atlanta.  I used to love changing locales because it was an opportunity to reinvent myself.  In this new city, I could work hard on my struggles so no one would look down on me for them. 

But let time run its course and soon flaws begin to show.

We learn to hide our pain and weaknesses until we have a handle on them.  We believe hiding faults earns people’s respect and affections.  But — it doesn’t.  People are suspicious of anyone portraying they have it all together.

So why do we play this game, especially as we grow up?  Do we pretend because the bar is too high?  Most people believe that as we age, we grow and improve ourselves, when in reality we often digress.  We lose our dreams post-failure and become shallow, phony.  We no longer show our vulnerabilities to the world.  And worst of all, we frown upon those who do — kids who openly show emotion, their true selves, no matter how quirky they may be.  With age we lose our childlikeness, our young hearts, who we are truly meant to be.  We conform because it lessens the likelihood of rejection.  We learn shame.

You know what else I realized?  Brace yourself… :)

The human sin that sent Jesus to die was people’s failure to admit their failures.  They hated Him with utmost hatred because He represented their inability to measure up on their own.  And they went to hell for it.  They lost their very lives because they couldn’t swallow the notion that they didn’t have it all together.  This is how deeply-rooted the need to be perfect is.  They deceived themselves, and when we operate under this ‘golden rule’, we do too.

Don’t you see that our need to be ‘perfect’ blocks us from the very intimacy we’re trying to attain through perfection?  Our attempts to hit the mark and prove we’re lovable hinder us from experiencing true love at all.

This is performance, the ugly underbelly of religion, and it separates us — from each other and from the Lord.  He beckons us, saying I love you now.  You are enough now!  Quit waiting outside the gate, improving yourself before entering in to be with Me.  Now is the time.  Now you are whole.  Now you are loved, accepted, delighted in.  Now!

We so fear loss of love that we’re blinded to the fact that we’re already loved.  This concept is so foreign to our earthly way of thinking because we have never, never, never been loved like that before.  Not unconditionally.  Not purely.  Not 100% of the time.  Not by anyone.  And we never will be.

Until now.  UntilHim.  Psalm 100 says “Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise!” 

We must stop pretending — and enter.  There we can drop our facades.  There we can unravel our contrived images and forsake any attempt to prove ourselves.  There, with Him, we are enough!  We don’t have to be perfect and we never will be.  God calls this place His ‘rest’ (Hebrews 4), and it’s available to every one of us.

But we must enter.

To all of us Christ offers ‘rest,’ not in the next life only, but also in this life.  Rest from the weight of sin, from care and worry, from the load of daily anxiety and foreboding.  The rest that arrives from handing over all worries to Christ and receiving from Christ all we need.  Have you entered into that experience? ~FB Meyer