The Mirror Image

Growing up, I had an area that habitually undermined me from being a success in life.  Was it…

A lack of resources?  Nope.
Bad family life?  Thankfully no… I grew up in a great home.
Bad friends?  Mean teachers?  Slight dimwittedness?  Nope (jury’s out on that last one).

Then what was my persistent source of failure?

You may be surprised.

My biggest undermining feature was this:  Myself.  I never fully believed in myself.

I’d take on a task, try to give it my best, but in the back of my head hovered the persistent doubt that I couldn’t do it.  And so with every undertaking, I listened to that voice.  The more I listened, the louder it grew because I believed it.

The result was I became a failure.

Sad.  All that potential growing up, unused.  People say youth is wasted on the young, and this rang true in my life!

So how does one turn this type of issue around….?

THE MIRROR IMAGE

Michael Winegeart, one of my college business professors and a wildly successful man in his own right, told our class about something he called the “mirror image”.

According to Winegeart, everyone has a mirror image.  You can’t be without one.  Your mirror image is that one person in your life whose approval is most important to you, whose affirmation you crave [enter Daddy issues comment here].  

This person doesn’t have to know you exist.  They could even be 6 feet under!  [Yes, we can still crave the approval of a dead person!]

How ridiculous does that sound?  Yet many of us do it.  We perform for someone’s approval – imaginary or otherwise.

The point is that to us, they’re very much alive.  Real.  And from their known (or unknown) platform in our lives, this person – our mirror image – dictates how we see ourselves, how highly (or not-so-highly) we view ourselves, and what we perceive we can offer the world.

Whew!  That’s quite a place we’ve given them.

Winegeart called it our “mirror image” because it’s what we look to to determine what we’re made of – our mirror reflecting back to us who we are.

The problem is: It’s an imperfect mirror, displaying to us a false self.

NO ONE knows what your potential is!  No one can weigh the worth of all you are, all you can do, and who you’ll become in the future.

No one can determine your worth by knowing you, not even if they reared you, grew up in the same house with you, or committed the rest of their life to “have and to hold” you.

Your pastor can’t see it.  Your grandma, God bless her, can’t see it (or much of anything?).  Even those who see you every day – your roommates, coworkers, or neighbors – aren’t privy to it.

No one has the power to tell you who you are.

But if you think they do – if you GIVE THEM that power – you become like a puppet on a string, trying to meet their demands as best you can.  You aren’t free to live your life, YOUR dreams, or God’s plan for you.  You are a slave to them!

Well that’s not my problem!, some of you may be thinking.  I’m very confident.  I don’t look to anyone else for reassurance and approval.

Wow, my hat’s off to you for being the 1% of people who can stand on their own two feet without anyone else’s input.  Impressive!

Secondly, I may have to nudge you off your high horse a little because it appears you’ve fallen into this same trap, too – this “mirror image” problem.

How?

Because YOU are your own mirror image.  And by definition, your limitations and short-sightedness as a human make even you impossible to know what your own self is capable of.

If you know me well enough or have read this blog a few times, you know where I’m going with this.

We can’t get our need for affirmation from ourselves, from our boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse, from our parents, or anyone else.

They can encourage us, and we hope they do.  But we’ll never be satisfied with their feedback forever.  We weren’t meant to be.  They’re as limited in understanding what we’re made of as we are ourselves.

They don’t know the future.  
He doesn’t know your passions.
She can’t see your buried talents.
You’re unaware of what you can accomplish or even what your gifts may be!

Growing up, my problem was that I defined myself through the wrong person’s eyes.  Though the particular person changed from time to time, the underlying theme was that they were human, just like me, and thus ill-equipped to tell me who I am.

So if we must have one, who do we look to as our Mirror Image?  What criteria must they have?

- Knowing the future
– Knowing our potential
– Knowing our hidden gifts & talents
– Knowing our passions, desires, & dreams
– Knowing what we can accomplish in our lifetime

It’s safe to say we can replace this laundry list with “All Knowing”.  What a job description.

Only God can know all these things about you, your life, your future, and the world around you.  Quit expecting humans to fill His shoes.

Don’t give others the right to define you.  And don’t define yourself – you’ll only limit your possibilities!  Even if you’re a dreamer, you could never supersede God’s incredible plan for your life.  Release your expectations of others/yourself to define who you are and instead shift this need in your heart onto God.

Today’s Challenge: Ask God to become your Mirror Image, the One whose reflection you see yourself in!  You don’t have to make it happen on your own.  Ask for His help – because anyone else will limit you to who they see you as.  Then ask Him to make you into ALL He envisioned when He created you.

My Peace I Give to You!

Is there an area of your life where you consistently lack peace?

No matter how many times you’ve tried to “get it under control”, you can’t.  It gets the best of you and seems to mock you, putting your flaws on parade in front of you and other people.

Then congratulations!  You’re human, having a human experience.

So what if the solution for humanity’s common struggle is surprisingly simple?  Not easy necessarily.  Simple.

I have a question for us.  What is the hallmark of Jesus’s presence in our lives?  In every biblical situation where Jesus was present, what was the result?

He said it Himself: Peace.

When He rules an area of our lives – instead of our feeble attempts to control our behavior or our less-than-effective ways to muster up our own confidence/ courage/ strength – we can rest in Him.  We surrender the control we presume we have and give it to the One who actually does.

Jesus calmed storms.  He healed people of real ailments like blindness and lameness and bleeding disorders.  He encouraged an adulteress and lovingly spoke with a lady who’d been married five times and was living with her boyfriend.

In each scenario, Jesus righted things that were out of order in each person’s life, things that weren’t in line with His perfect plan for them.  He doesn’t want people to be sick, lame, diseased, or having sex indiscriminately.  And He didn’t want His disciples to perish in a storm.

So He showed up and brought His peace with Him.  

When each person came to Him with their need & limitations (their broken body, messed-up relationships, storm-tossed ship), He brought His authority over the situation and BAM!  Magic happened.

Miracles, actually.

In order for Him to do the same for us, we must admit we can’t do it ourselves.  That we can’t control our over-eating, we can’t heal what hurts inside our hearts or even figure out WHAT hurts us so much, that we can’t ever make “enough” money to satisfy our limitless pit of wants, that we can’t bring back a miscarried child or undo abuse we’ve endured.

We can’t do it.  We are humans, having a human experience, and that human experience is that WE LACK CONTROL.

The sooner we recognize our common limitation, the sooner we’re able to get help from the One with none!

I can tell you from my own life that He waits and allows us to make our own poor choices before “interfering”.  He will not rob you of your God-given freedom of choice!  God will let you continue on your broken path, messing up your life, trying to gain control over everything and everyone around you (or appearing to gain control, that is).

Sometimes He’ll allow reminders in your life to show you that you aren’t in control, such as illness or financial struggles or a failed relationship.  Is that His will for you?  Likely not.  But He wants you to come to depend upon Him because your life will never make sense until you do.

So why don’t we just stop the crazy cycle and get off the control train?  Let’s admit we don’t have it under control and that we never did!  And then let us – in that same breath – ask Him to take control of our lives.  NOT IN A CREEPY WAY – He is not a control freak!

He will only take over the areas you’ve given Him.  But until you surrender them to Him, those areas of your life will be in chaos.  Please take it from me!  But if you’re a true control freak, you likely won’t take my word for it, will you?  I know I wouldn’t have before I went through my own storms.  I was master of my own ship, or so I thought.

Surrender.  He asks for your surrender over each area, lovingly, gently, but firmly.  You can choose to… or cling to a delusion of control and your life will continue spiraling downward.  You’ll burn other people along the way and waste your life as a sinking ship.

Wherever Jesus reigns, peace rules.  If Jesus is not in charge, chaos ensues.  

Give Him authority over every part of your life – especially the outta control ones – and watch Him change your life.  And quiet the storm in your heart – the struggle for control.

Called to Shine!

“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.”

~2 Cor. 4:7

This scripture is kind of famous :)

I’ve heard people suggest that the phrase “earthen vessels” indicates human weakness, as in When we mess up, it gives God glory (praise) because it shows people that any good in us must be supernatural.

And until recently, I’ve thought the same.  I believed God was honored when I lapsed into my old lifestyle because then any “goodness” I otherwise displayed would clearly be from Him.

But it seems like God may be challenging this belief of mine.

Have you ever wondered…. what are our “earthen vessels” really?  Do they refer to our bad behavior?

Does God, who put His precious treasure in me, receive any honor when I act selfishly?  Or does my hypocrisy hinder Him from being revealed to the people around me & honored in the eyes of men?

Yes, I’m a frail “jar of clay”!  But perhaps my frailty doesn’t refer to when I act how I did before Jesus came into my heart and transformed it.  Perhaps Scripture means my weakness is something else.

God put His Spirit inside of us so we’d be different… and so that this difference would draw others like a light.  The whole chapter of 2 Corinthians 4 talks about this very thing:

“The god of this world [Satan] has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ…

For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.  But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.”  ~2 Cor. 4:4-8

Light is what attracts people, not darkness.  Our world is already brimming with that.

My earthen vessel, then, seems to be my limited strength, my tendency to get weary (physically & spiritually), my lack of outstanding mental & physical traits - NOT MY SIN.

When a normally weak person can suddenly forgive his haters, persevere through great pain, or speak amazing wisdom beyond his years (like the disciples, a group of uneducated fishermen)… that grabs people’s attention.  Why?  Because it goes against the norm.

Reminds me of a powerful prayer Jesus prayed:

“Jesus declared, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was Your gracious will.” ~Matt 11:25-26

And elsewhere, in Paul’s famous Corinthian diatribe:

“Where is the one who is wise?  Where is the scribe?  Where is the debater of this age?  Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?… Consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth.  But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.” ~1 Cor. 1:20-29

God reveals Himself through young children, unlearned men, and life’s biggest rejects: basically the weakest links.  Not the strongest.

People want to witness God’s power in spite of us, even through us, and be amazed.  They won’t see His reflection in us when we display sinfulness (as some say our weak vessel is).  Henry Blackaby taught this: that people are drawn to what no human can do in the natural – only what God Himself is doing through His limited creation.  They want to see miracles.  Our sin doesn’t make the cut.

My backsliding into old & destructive ways helps NO ONE (including me!).  It doesn’t give God honor because He’s put a gift within me that I’m refusing to let shine.  When I shine, people are drawn to this light – Him in me!  When I sin, they walk away disappointed and disillusioned, still searching for what I could have given them.

“Like a muddied fountain and a polluted spring is a righteous man who yields, falls down, and compromises his integrity before the wicked.”  ~Prov. 25:26

Why are people who don’t know Jesus drawn to people who do?  “Because they want more of the same dark, perverse world?”  Or because they seek God’s treasure in us?

People are thirsty & don’t need MORE OF THE SAME.  They seek in us what they need from God: Kindness, purity, joy, forgiveness, love, peace.  They seek Jesus!  Yet how will they find Him if they don’t see Him in us, His light bearers?

Our sinful self shames His name & us because we’re acting like the sinners we used to be… and there’s no light in sin, no glory that we reflect God’s way.

We give Him great glory when we’re obedient, when we rid ourselves of our selfish tendencies and instead display Jesus’s nature.

Let’s not give our world ‘more of the same’.  Let’s be the fresh, bubbling spring Jesus said people can drink from so they never thirst again.  We’re able to do this because:

“By His divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life.” ~2 Peter 1:3

Don’t be afraid to shine.
Love Summer