Most (honest) women will admit they’ve struggled, at one time or another, with being the ‘weaker’ sex. Let’s rephrase that: the ‘fairer’ sex :) haha
Growing up with two older brothers made me a lil fiesty and left me with, maybe, a lil chip on my shoulder. One of my mom’s fondest memories is of me — as a toddler — telling my brothers “You’re not the boss of me!” Fast forward two decades, and I’m still grappling with this. Submitting to those in authority (whether by age or title) can be tough, painful even, for the strong-willed “Miss Independents” among us.
So when I came across this woman’s blog, I had to laugh! She details this same struggle from a godly perspective. My life parallels hers in many ways. I hope you’ll take the time to read her lengthy, yes, but well-developed thoughts on this idea every person must grapple with, male or female: Submission.
To sum this up, true feminism is about freeing women to be who God designed them to be — partners with men for the benefit of everyone! This world needs both of us. And in the words of someone else:
Feminism is when men and women value relationship, intuition and approaching life with a spirit of collaboration for the greater good.
Pastor Joe Bennett of Bimini Bay Church (Mondays at biminibayhomes.com) speaks often of the kind of prayer God responds to. Because we are His kids, He doesn’t respond to ‘begging’ prayers but to those spoken with confident assurance that our Father knows and sees our pain and is willing to answer us!
Pastor Joe told me that God was holding back to answer some prayers of mine because I was approaching Him the wrong way: begging. If He answered prayers asked from this position, He’d be affirming that I was His slave, not His child.
Learning this principle thrilled me because after pleading with Him for certain things and not getting answers, I began believing He didn’t care about areas closest to my heart. This hindered our relationship and devastated me personally… a dangerous place to be in! I desperately needed to know my Father wasn’t leaving me alone in my circumstances. A recent email from Pastor Joe echoes this same sentiment:
I would like to encourage each of you today concerning your confidence in the Lord. The very basis of God’s relationship with man is His love. According to the first epistle of John our confidence is rooted in this principal alone. Knowing, believing and understanding that it was God that FIRST loved us. If this fundamental principal is not established in our hearts then we will always fall prey to a performance based relationship with God where either pride or guilt and condemnation will rule.
Remember, (Romans 5), it was while we were sinners that Christ died for the ungodly and thus demonstrated the measure of Gods love toward man. It was while we were enemies that we were reconciled through His death. Romans 8:32 basically says that if God did not spare His own son for us, then shall he not also freely gives us all things?
Be encouraged today. Your heavenly Father knows where you are and what you are going through. He does not want you to beg Him for an answer, a response or beg to supply a need. He wants you to come before His throne of Grace with confidence that He will hear you and supply you with the grace to help you in time of need. Being confident of His love for you, knowing that He has PROMISED saying: “I will never leave you or forsake you.”
You know those times in life when it’s ‘crunch time’, you’re out of options and have nowhere else to look but up?
When you’ve exhausted all opportunities and none are coming through? When you’ve beat your head against the same brick wall for such a long time you’ve forgotten what life was like when things came easy?
That’s when you need a Miracle.
I need one. Now. I can’t wait any longer. Bills beckon. My heart’s on the line. I need it and I need it this week. I have nowhere else to go.
In fact, it made me laugh. Been there, done this! Thankfully God’s helping me out and giving me grace!
I’ve become convinced that God does not want us paralyzed with fear and inaction as we seek His perfect will for every situation. While there indeed may be an ideal sandwich bread, I don’t think I need to fast and pray for weeks to discern what it is. It’s just not that important. And when I do face a decision with lasting consequences, I now have the ability to choose without fear of making a colossal blunder…
Nowadays, I calmly pray for wisdom, and instead of waiting for a sign that never comes, I simply make the best decision I can and trust God to let me know if I’ve gone astray. Things don’t always turn out the way I’d like, but I’m pretty convinced that they turn out for the best.
-Thomas Jeffries
God gives us liberty to choose. Even when He shows us what His desires are for us, via His word or that “still small voice”, the beauty of life is we still make the ultimate decision. Not every choice is a moral one, nor one God has an exact opinion on. Much of the time, our Father delights in us scampering through life, discovering what He’s created and exploring our options! There is no joy in dictating our lives to us; He sets life and death before us and allows us to choose.
That’s great news! It also means we bear great responsibility for our own lives. He shows us the safe path, so when we veer from it let’s not hold it against Him. What a great Dad we have!
Thank You, Lord, that You aren’t a controlling Father and that You give us freedom of choice, expression, lifestyle… help us to HEED Your voice when You give us specific instructions and thank You for freeing us from the bondage of “Have to”, legalism, and ‘paralysis by analysis’. Thank You for the joy to be exactly who we’re created to be – unique and free!
I just love this lesson on Duty. Something to remember, and something I’m learning every day!
“Do not confuse ‘duty’ with what other people expect of you; they are totally different.
Duty is a debt you owe yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect.
But there is no reward at all for doing what others expect of you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible. Time is your total capital, and the minutes of your life painfully few. If you allow yourself to fall into the vice of agreeing to such requests, they quickly snowball to the point where these parasites will use up 100% of your time, and squawk for more!
So learn to say NO! and be rude about it when necessary. (This does not mean that you must not do a favor for a friend, or even a stranger. But let the choice be yours – don’t do it because it is expected of you.)”
Many thoughts come to mind: summer camp. Afternoon thunderstorms. My birthday. Swimming in the ocean! Walking to DQ on blazing hot summer afternoons with my friends. Scorched feet on concrete. Ice cream melting faster than I could eat it in my bikini on Captiva Island. Fishing off a dock first thing in the morning on Marathon Key. Lighthouses. Road trips. Fun!
While my name is Summer, the only reason I used to get excited about the arrival of “my” season is that it meant school was OUT and I got to play for several months straight! What’s not to love?!
This year, however, I sense something different about this day and this season! Today is the Summer Solstice, the first day of me. :) And I sense that is really significant. No, not just for those of us who share this name, but for all of God’s people. And maybe those who aren’t yet His people.
I don’t know what, but I sense this is significant. A turning point. I’ve been anticipating this day for quite some time this year.
So rejoice… because whatever it is, it’s a good thing that’s coming! In the coming months, God is going to change our lives. That’s all I know, and it will be good yet challenging. He is about to change our lives and blow our minds.
Friday night my brother Gabe had a cookout at his place. Lotsa great friends, amazing burgers (lean beef w/ whole wheat buns, wahoo!), baked sweet potato fries, a swimming pool and mosquitoes.
Gabe is known as the ‘musical one’ of the fam. He has a knack for it – always has – and can sing and play guitar incredibly well. With his ear for fantastic music, he always seems to find off-the-wall, great musicians. He also discovers hidden music of well-known artists. Friday was no exception.
He was trying to sell us on the talent of Katy Perry… yes, the ‘I kissed a girl’ singer who most have likely written off as scandalous and fly-by-night. I had my moments, truth be told.
Then Gabe played several ‘unplugged’ songs of hers. Expecting the not-so-great radio voice I’d gotten accustomed to, I was shocked to hear her gorgeous words! We all fell into stunned silence, falling in love with music all over again.
One song caught my attention. You know why? I didn’t at the time, but it’s been swirling in my thoughts all weekend. Then I realized it, what her video captures: Katy Perry opening her heart. No edginess. No kissing girls and liking it. No superficial lyrics. This girl grew up in a strict Christian home, then moved to LA and got lost in the worldly whirlwind. But this night you can see it in her eyes, and in another song she sang: she knows and remembers. And more than anything, she’s struggling like us single ladies who have a guy on our hearts who doesn’t seem to care, or notice us. What’s a girl to do?
Katy demonstrates something I’ve been trying to put my finger on for years now, something many women are lacking. Something all girls are born with but that most ladies shut off after getting burned. What?
Our hearts.
Yet in this song, this ‘far away’ girl most believers judge displays what I’ve failed to see in many godly women: her true heart!
A recent book I read talked about this very thing… that when a man pursues a woman, she has a choice. To open herself to him, or to shut herself down from the potential pain. If she offers herself to a man, not just physically but altogether, all of her, a woman exhibits what this author called stunning vulnerability. This leaves the man with 3 choices: to pursue her further, to walk away, or to exploit her openness. This vulnerability is “stunning” because she risks much by it: rejection, or far worse, being taken advantage of by someone stronger than her physically and emotionally.
As a woman, I’ve encountered all three… and let me tell you friends, there’s a reason ladies shut down after men do the latter two things. It hurts!
Not to glorify Katy… she’s just another woman like many of us… but I was captured by this young girl who’s been just as confused and lost as I have yet who opens herself to this guy anyway and pours out her heart. On Friday night, everyone in the room was genuinely taken by her, in a pure way. All eyes were on her. She was, after all, being a woman… saying she needed this man. Saying he was incomparable, and no other could fill that need in her life but him. And we were drawn in by her!
She displays a little girl’s heart in a grown woman’s body. Even her painted face can’t hide the heart and depth behind this song.
Watching her today, I realized how long this takes for a woman to do… to reach this point of strength to be honest with the man in your life about how much you long for him. Most women offer themselves to the wrong men, prematurely in their lives or in their relationships, and then miss their moment down the road because rejection taught them to hide themselves. The right man appears, but these women have learned to hate the vulnerability men stir in them… so they shut it down. And once you shut it down, it takes a miracle of God to awaken you again.
But He does.
He promises us that He makes everything beautiful in its time, and what is more beautiful than a woman displaying the heart of God – His heart that says I need you. Draw nearer to Me. I long for you, for you are irreplaceable to Me! — to another of His creations?
Comparisons are easily done
Once you’ve had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one, I’ve still got the seed
You said move on, where do I go?
I guess second best is all I will know
Cuz when I’m with him I am thinkin of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if you were the one who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I was looking into your eyes
You’re like an Indian summer in the middle of winter
Like a hard candy with a surprise center
How do I get better once I’ve had the best?
You said there’s tons of fish in the water so the waters I will test
He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth
He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself
Cuz when I’m with him I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if you were the one who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I was looking into your..
The best, oh and yes I do regret how I could let myself let you go
And now the lesson’s learned, I touched it I was burned
Why, oh you should know baby
What you would do if you were the one who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won’t you
Burst through the door and take me away
No more mistakes
Cuz in your arms I’d like to
Stay…..
A friend of mine is training for a Half Ironman. For those of you who aren’t familiar, these are like death camps! Kidding. But seriously. She’s swimming 1.2 miles, running a half marathon (13.1 miles), and biking 56 miles (yes, fifty-six). Um. WHAT!! How amazing is that but how…… challenging! This girl has some serious determination though, so I’ve no doubt she’ll complete it with flying colors.
Ironmen and marathoners are undoubtedly in FANTASTIC shape. By the time they cross the finish line, they’re flexing muscles they may not have seen in 10 or 20 years! The finish line is an impressive sight of hardened bodies being pushed to their limits.
Today, as I was reading her Ironman email, I realized that endurance athletes don’t get in excellent shape in one day. This takes many, many days of training – months and years, depending on the event they’re training for. These athletes’ ripped physiques and great health come from many hours pounding the pavement, cycling, or doing untold numbers of strokes in the water.
If they don’t put in the hours leading up to their events, they’d never be able to perform well that day. They’d die out early on, an incomplete event under their belts and more exhausted than they’d be had they adequately prepared themselves.
Physically, mentally and spiritually speaking, our biggest gains come not from marathon running but from training to run marathons.If we neglect this all-important aspect of endurance competitions, we will lose on race day.
Maybe this is why God seems to have us on a constant treadmill, testing our faith, allowing trials and challenges, and stretching us beyond our capacity. He wants us – when race day arrives – to be tested andapproved! He doesn’t want us to fail. That’s why when the miles seem never-ending, injuries crop up, and the heat seems unbearable, we should call to mind that we’re in TRAINING for the Race. If we can’t endure mere practices and workout days, how will we ever stand on the day when it really counts, when our competitors are breathing down our necks, and when the results last forever? On that day, will we be able to stand the immensepressureof racing?
I’m reminded of God’s response to Jeremiah (12:5) when he argued why He allows the wicked to prosper. God answered:
If you have run with footmen and they have tired you out,
Then how can you compete with horses?
If you fall down in a land of peace,
How will you do in the thicket of the Jordan?
I’ve never understood God’s reply. He seemed to skirt around Jeremiah’s question and callously answer a common human complaint: Bad people doing well and good people suffering. But maybe what the Lord was telling this old prophet was that his questions and frustrations were preparing him for the intensity of battles to come when he’d face far worse ‘injustices’. This was his training ground.
The truth is, races offer no redos. Judges don’t care that you have blisters from new shoes, or that you didn’t train to run hills but encountered them on the racing course, or that you didn’t sleep well the few nights before. Your performance will go down in history, so may it be a good one. May your training be sufficient enough to make your odds of winning far outweigh any curveballs you face at the race. Even if you’re sleep-deprived or the weather is uncharacteristically hot.
We get in shape not from marathons but from training for marathons. This is a crucial difference. I’ll leave you with a powerful quote from Sir Winston Churchill:
“To every man, there comes in his lifetime, that special moment when he is figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered a chance to do a very special thing, unique to him and fitted to his talents; What a tragedy if that moment should find him unprepared or unqualified for the work which would be his finest hour.”
